"Why can't you just take a joke?"
"You're too sensitive."
"That's really stupid to say, now keep your mouth shut."
"You're wrong."
All of these sentences are things that verbal abusers say against the ones they try to hurt. As a victim of verbal abuse in different types of relationships, I know how much it can affect you. At first you may not recognize it as abuse, but when you finally do, it hits you hard, and leaves effects on you that last.
You feel like you just can't win. They will always tell you that you are wrong, and that your own opinion is incorrect. They will say the same thing over and over, raise their voice, and drill into your brain their opinion until you agree. No matter how much you try to figure things out in a calm way, your abuser will always tell you that you are doing it wrong.
Your self-esteem and confidence will begin to plummet. You'll begin to question yourself more often. Your abuser will tell you things that are "for your own good." Every comment you make on a situation will have a back-handed comment from him following.
When you stand up to them in a situation telling them how you feel, all they do is care for a second, and you think everything is fine, but then lean down and tell you that "you're too sensitive." He will never take responsibility in a situation, but rather always finds a way to twist it around on you.
They will always make jokes, and to others they may be funny, but you're the reason behind them. You know that he is directing them towards you in order to point out your own personal flaws. When you try to tell someone they know what they are truly like, they look at you in disbelief, because there is no way that the person they know and love is the monster that you have to live with.
You always feel like you are dodging bullets. You don't want to say the wrong thing, because you know that he'll point it out, but you don't want to not say anything, because then he'll make a side comment. You teach yourself to just let him make the decisions, because you know that if you offer the wrong thing, you'll hear about it for the next few days.
You worry that the verbal abuse will heighten into physical abuse. The first time it does it's just a bruising on your upper arm where he grabs you too tight to have control over you, but the next time you fear is going to be worse.
Verbal abuse is no joke. It is a real thing. It is an abuse that hurts every part of you. You worry if you'll ever be able to trust anyone again. You worry if you'll ever speak your opinion again. You worry if something will trigger you into that submissive state where you will take whatever is thrown at you with no retaliation.
You worry if you'll be abused again.
