I was born and raised in Valparaiso, Indiana. It is a unique town being surrounded by cornfields, a train ride away from Chicago, and off the shores of Lake Michigan at the same time. This could arguably be the best place to live in Indiana. After all, Valparaiso means paradise valley.
1. You celebrate popcorn on a yearly basis.
Valparaiso is the home of Orville Redenbacher, so we salute him every year with a whole popcorn festival. This includes a parade, a 5-mile run, and a lot of popcorn.
2. Traffic jams consist of a line of vehicles behind a tractor.
You may have even been late to school or work thanks to your local farmers. You understand that they have to move these vehicles, but couldn’t it have been 5 minutes later when you did not have to drive this route. After all, there are no alternatives to most country roads.
3. People say you have a Chicago accent.
What even is a Chicago accent? You have no clue, but apparently, you have it.
4. When you have to explain where you are from, you usually say outside Chicago unless the person is from Chicago.
If it was not for the traffic, downtown Chicago would only be an hour or less away. However, Chicago natives really seem to take offense from you saying you are from the Chicagoland areas. Even so, no one knows the geography of Indiana, so you often revert back to this description.
5. You’ve had to argue about whether or not you are from the Region.
The borders of the Region are highly disputed, but yes, Valparaiso is part of the Region. The Snapchat filters say so.
6. People often become concerned when they find out how close to Gary you live.
Yes, Gary is only a handful of towns over. No, crime rates are not high in your town.
7. You experience all four seasons in one week.
Weather is just generally unexplainable here. One day you are sun tanning. The next day is windy with thunderstorms. The day after that it is snowing again.
8. When a bad snow storm is coming, you automatically times it by 10 to account for lake effect snow.
9. Your winter plans consist of loitering at the mall.
There are not many indoor activities, so the mall is always the default option. That mall being Southlake Mall. It was never Westfield Mall to begin with.
10. You may not have to worry about humans jaywalking, but deer are serious offenders.
There is a serious deer overpopulation problem here. They even changed hunting laws to allow for better control of the deer population.
11. You tend to blame trains for being late to school or work.
The railroads are numerous, but the question is: did you actually run into a train?
12. “Going to the beach” means laying out at the Dunes, but not stepping a foot into the water.
You will just enjoy the lovely view of the power plants and steel mills instead of dipping your toes in the icy water.
13. Your go-to summer night plan is going to the 49’er Drive-In.
14. Post Prom plans almost always including hopping on the train to Chicago.
You may be worn out from dancing the night away, but you go anyways just to run into the guy who rejected you at the museum.
15. Visiting friends are amazed by the sheer amount of corn (and soybeans).
You do not even register the sight anymore. You probably didn't even notice that your school is surrounded by four cornfields.
16. Snowy roads may be treacherous, but at least they cover up the potholes.
17. You think Illinois drivers are the worst drivers.
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You understand that their aggressive driving comes from the trauma of driving on the expressways surrounding Chicago, but it is not necessary here. Also, turn signals can be really helpful.
18. When *insert Chicago sports team* does well, all your friends are suddenly their die-hard fans.
The majority of your class was probably missing on the same day as the Cubs parade.
19. Every other person you meet works or has worked at a steel mill.
20. The Region is the best part of Indiana. We even have our own Snapchat filter.
You get the best of both worlds being a small town only a train ride away from the city.
