A pregnancy scare; it’s something most teenagers dread, girl and guy alike. Ask any teenage boy what they think about pregnancy scares and you're likely to watch them sprint the opposite direction shouting "no comment" over their shoulder. It's all a bad nightmare to them. Don’t ever ask a teenage girl about pregnancy scares because it may be a girl who has the initial scare. It's the girl whose body is being affected. And if the scare becomes more than a "scare," it's the girl who has to go through the decision of what to do with the baby. Easily the hardest decision any woman will ever have to make.

Safe sex is the best thing you can do for yourself and your partner, but scares may happen no matter how careful you are, and no matter how many precautions you take. They can come at the worst of times and without much of warning. Most importantly, they can and probably will completely upset you if you aren’t ready for them. Likely, if you are referring to it as a “pregnancy scare,” you aren’t fully prepared.

***note, not everyone will be in the same situation, or experience these stages in the same exact way as described. What's right for one person and their body, may not be the best for another.

STAGE 1 – Everything

Nearly a million things will run through your head in the moment your period runs late. You'll be overwhelmed and feeling almost every emotion you’ve ever felt.

Getting pregnant isn't really considered in the moment. Especially if you’ve done it a couple times without a scare, the thought is usually pretty far back in your mind.

And then your period is late. Late a day and you're confused with yourself. Those, "I thought we were done being irregular" thoughts pick at you all day and night. Late two days and you're just annoyed. Late three days and you start counting back to when the last time you had sex was. And this is where the nerves set in.

STAGE 2 – Utter Panic

Suddenly you’re running through the lists of pharmacies close by in your head. Which ones do your parents go to? Alright cross those off the list. Google: pregnancy tests. Jeeze, there are so many different kinds. You don't know which one to get… How much even are these? Do I have enough cash on me? I can't charge this to my credit card. Last thing I need is my dad who reads the bills to find out first…

Chances are that you can’t identify what you’re feeling in this moment. Sheer panic. That is what you’re feeling.

As this is going on, you're likely sitting in your room attempting to hide from everyone in your family. Every time your phone buzzes you're worried it's the guy you slept with. A simple "Hey, whatcha doing!" Would be enough to push you over the edge.

STAGE 3 – Taking Spontaneous Action

You nearly throw your phone across the room when you find a CVS. Fifteen dollars is now stuffed in your pocket. Twenty-minute drive. Shoes. Keys. "Mom, I'm getting a smoothie with friends. Be back soon!" Sprint out your door.

Buying the pregnancy test is hard to say the least. You feel like everyone is watching you walk down the family planning isle. You want to duck your head. You don't make eye contact with anyone. You should've worn a jacket with a hood to hide in.

For a brief second you even consider stealing it just to avoid having to face the sales lady. Don't worry, they aren't allowed to comment on what you're buying. Find a girl cashier if you're really all that worried. No she won't judge you. Do you really think you're the first young girl she's seen buy a pregnancy test by herself? Nails bitten off. Head down. Small voice. No. You aren't.

Get in. Get out. Get home. Deep breaths.

STAGE 4 – Impatience

And here comes the waiting. And yes you have to wait because pregnancy tests are only accurate after your period is at least a certain amount of days late. So you wait. And you want to pull your hair out.

Pro tip: this could be different for everyone, but for me, unless you are certain he can handle it, like a long term boyfriend for example, don't tell the guy that you're with that you may be pregnant until you know that you're pregnant. There is no reason to give this poor boy a heart attack in case it’s for no reason. And if you aren't dating him, if you don’t have his number, even if you don’t know who he is, do not feel bad about yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over this. It doesn't make you a slut or a whore. It makes you a teenager and you're going to be just fine.

STAGE 5 – Terror

I wouldn’t even call it a pregnancy scare at this point. You aren’t scared. You’re terrified.

If the test comes back negative, you will be hit with an enormous wave of relief that cannot be described in words. I could crudely compare it to finally hitting the bathroom after that six-hour car ride.

If that test comes back positive. You're going to feel a little dizzy. You may throw up just due to nerves. Your knees will wobble some and the first thought that will run through your head is “who on Earth do I tell? Do I tell anyone at all?”

I would advise you to find a way to contact the guy you slept with and inform him. The guy has a right to know unless of course he’s dangerous in any way or you can’t contact him.

His response may be along the lines of a five-year-old discovering that they’re actually on their way to get their flu shot. Absolute terror. By the time you’ve gotten the message out, he’s probably three shades lighter than he usually is and looking for paper bags to breathe in. That doesn’t make him a bad guy at all. He’s just scared. Aren’t you?

And hey, if your guy can totally handle the situation then please inform all of us females where to find said male. We think you may be dating a unicorn.

I would also advise you to tell your parents, or someone that you can trust to go to. I’m advising this because it’s the right advice to give. I will honestly admit that I have no idea if I would actually follow it. I’m pretty much a chicken. That being, said, do not go through this alone.

STAGE 6 - Decisions

Whatever it is you decide to do, just don’t decide to do nothing. If you are pregnant, pretending nothing happened in hopes it’ll all go away, does not work. It has been tried and tested by many females.

The last step is to decide what to do with your baby. You either keep it or you don’t. That decision is the most painful decision you will ever have to make. But that decision is yours to make.

Sometimes a miscarriage will happen and make that decision for you. If that happens, despite which direction you were leaning towards; you will cry, you will grieve, and God it will hurt like nothing you have felt before. I truly hope you never have to experience that feeling.

Now, if having a kid is an amazing concept to you and you feel you can appropriately handle a child and adequately provide for them, then all the power to you. This must be the best scare of your life. This then immediately becomes something to be seriously discussed with your partner and parents if capable.

Here comes the most important part of this article:

If you have plans for your future that you don’t think a child can fit in, if you are just terrified at the thought of having a child as many women are, if you want to travel the world and you know you can’t do that with an infant, if there is any other reason as to why you don’t want to have a baby, you are NOT a monster.

You are your own person. And you get to decide how you live your life. That in no way makes you a murderer. That in no way makes you evil. That makes you normal.

I guarantee not enough people have told you that in your lifetime.

So here’s one more.