To some, public speaking may not seem like a big deal, but to others it can be the most terrifying thing. It's an actual phobia called glossophobia, which is usually rooted by a form of social anxiety. Some people simply just do not like having attention on them or being in front of groups and I think this is totally understandable.
Throughout high school, speaking in front of a class was no big deal because it was filled with all of my closest friends or people I had known my entire life. Having to present something once I got to college, was an entirely different story. Being the type of person that never really meets a stranger, I found it odd how anxious I would get before presenting in front of a college classroom. Shaking, stuttering and feeling somewhat nauseous, were just some of the minor things I dealt with prior or during the presentation. I would recite my information and how I would show it, over and over before the big day, but I always found myself losing my ability to think and even put words together into full thoughts. Rambling is what I mostly did. It was as if while I was standing in front of the room, looking out at the unfamiliar faces, I could feel myself panicking inside, trying so hard not to just break down and cry. Then since you are such a mess on the inside, usually that’s what you feel like is coming out, a big jumbled mess. You feel as if all eyes are on you and you become worried about what everyone else is thinking, whether you look stupid or simply sound uneducated, but nine times out of ten all of the faces looking back, either are just as nervous or actually understand. All of these thoughts about everyone else come rushing in and completely overwhelm you, and then you can’t even really remember what you were wanting to say or what the presentation is even about.
If I have learned anything from dealing with this fear, its that first of all it is totally okay to have it and that it doesn't define you. Most people do deal with this simply because we are programmed to worry about the opinions of others and what they may think. Which even ditching the concept of worrying about others, you still can struggle with it. Maybe its as simple as hating attention. There are those who flourish in the center stage spotlight, but there are also those who excel behind closed curtains. Both of which are totally okay. You can be the most intelligent person in the entire world, but still be nervous or have a jumbled up mess of thoughts when trying to present your knowledge to others.
When first dealing with it, I felt like a total idiot for being so nervous about speaking in front of others because I knew that I knew the material but for the life of me, I could not present it efficiently enough. Me being a perfectionist, I struggled so hard with this. To be honest I think its normal to feel this way because it does seem like a ridiculous fear, but it actually is very much paralyzing. I realize now that I am not dumb for feeling this way, but more so brave for even pushing myself to get through an entire presentation. I just don’t think our ability to talk in front of others should define ourselves or our intelligence in the way that we let it. So now whenever I am watching another present something, I realize that maybe they may be dealing with the same thing too. Even if they stand there the entire time without performing in the “right manner” I still applaud them because it might have taken every ounce of their being to even be able to stand there, much less saying anything.
Struggling with this is such a tough thing, and I understand that some battle it worse than I do. To those of you who do, I applaud you for facing your fears. It makes things a lot better to think of each presentation as a chance to face your biggest fear. I feel as if each time I do, I get a tiny bit better, so maybe it just takes time. Regardless, keep doing what you’re doing because you are awesome and it is very much understandable. Continue pushing yourself to be the best you that you can be. For ones who do not deal with this, I hope this gave a better insight for you on what its like and that from now on you always try to be respectful of those presenting because to them, your thoughts do matter.
