When was the last time you did something that terrified you? I’m not talking about doing something that made you a little nervous, I’m talking about something that made your heart drop into your stomach, made your mouth dry, your palms sweat, your knees shake and your head spin.
It seems that the older we get, the more of these experiences we have, whether it’s driving a stick shift on your own for the first time (the epitome of all driving based fears), speaking in public, or simply putting yourself out into the world for people to scrutinize.
On a regular basis, I find myself doing things that scare me, and I’m willing to bet that the vast majority of people do as well, but most people do things that scare them because they have to—I do things that scare me because I choose to, and you should too.
Now I know what you’re thinking; you have enough unavoidable stress in your life as it is, why add insult to injury by adding in even more intentionally? It’s very easy to take the unavoidable and necessary stress of life, call it “comfortable” and just figure we’re doing enough, but being “comfortable” does not create opportunities for growth or development of any kind.
Athletes do not become Olympians by training only within their comfort zone, and actors do not become household names by only auditioning when they feel comfortable—they do things that scare them, and they get recognized for doing so.
We cannot hope to fulfill our complete potential unless we actively go beyond our comfort zones to do things that scare us.
Doing something that scares you doesn’t mean you have to go skydiving, either (although you could, maybe you’d be surprised by how much you actually enjoy it).
We are all afraid of different things, so stepping outside of our comfort zones will look different for everyone. Maybe, for you, it means telling the person in front of you at the coffee shop that you like their t-shirt, or it could mean volunteering, or attending an open mic night, that’s for you to determine.
Your fears will change as you do, but pick one to start and focus on addressing it over and over and over again. The first time you do it will be terrifying—as will the second time, and the third time, and the fourth time—but somewhere along the way, when you’ve done this act a half dozen times or so, you’ll find that you’re a little less afraid than you were the first time.
This trend will continue until, after repeating the task more times than you can count on two hands, you only feel a little stirring of the fear you used to feel, which is completely normal, you are human after all.
Great news: you’ve done it! You’ve purposely done something that scared you, it doesn’t scare you as much anymore and you’re that much braver and yourself than you were before.
Even better news: now you move on to another fear! Isn’t that wonderful? Perhaps by complimenting strangers in fast food lines you’ve become a little more confident and outgoing, but now you’re scared by the idea of going outside your friend group and meeting new people.
You might not want to address that next fear, but you’ll choose to and you will, and it will be just a little less terrifying than the last fear you conquered because now you know you can do it.
Our lives are filled with crossroads where the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is decided by whether or not we will step outside of our comfort zone and do something that scares us.
A promotion at work might depend on whether or not you are willing to lead a presentation, or you may have the chance to stand out as a student, but only if approach your classmates and try to spearhead a study group.
It could be as simple as complimenting strangers because that will make you a more confident person, or it could be as involved as learning how to drive a stick shift in order to increase your independence. Whatever the case may be, I encourage you to join me and choose to be afraid.
