Every year, a few days before Christmas, all of the highways become congested with families making trips to faraway places to spend the holidays with their relatives. For me, the drive to see my extended family was about 13 hours long, not including stops. The trek from St. Charles, Missouri to Lexington, South Carolina is one we have made for over seven years, but the drive, nor the stay, has ever gotten easier.
Visiting distant family during holidays is a something most everyone does. For some, it is a pleasant and comfortable experience. For others (for most), it can be an uncomfortable time where tensions are high, one has to put on a facade, or answer the same questions over and over. ‘How’s school going?’ Well, school is school so it’s fine, but I still don’t have a major and I party a lot. ‘How’s that boyfriend of yours?’ Nothing has changed, you know I don’t have one. So sorry, but no great-grandchildren are coming your way anytime soon. I promise you I haven’t grown at an inch. Please stop pinching my cheeks.
It’s always interesting to reconnect with family after at least six months of not seeing or making much contact with them. They see your cute selfies and sorority pictures on Facebook but they can’t actually see the progression of you evolving into a mature woman with fresh perspectives. Because of this, it’s generally a shock to them when you speak up at the dinner table and interrupt their conversations with your liberal thoughts.
So Christmas dinner is ready and the table is set and conversation is happening and suddenly it’s “Can you pass the ham? Can you pass the green beans? I’m probably going to vote for Donald Trump.” Or maybe the dinner conversation begins and you’re tuning it out because you’re so focused on how good the casserole is and then you hear your grandma say that she thinks feminism is “silly.” Or your uncle makes a racist or politically incorrect joke and you and your cousin are the only people at the table who look appalled and not amused.
No matter what your beliefs are or how you feel about gay marriage or who you plan to vote for, chances are, you and your older family members will have conflicting opinions. This is most-likely because they were raised a certain way and retain the beliefs they had when they were young. My family members are great people. They are loving and hard-working, but I believe they can be a bit closed-minded, and as I grow older and I become progressive in my thinking, it has become harder for me to hold my tongue.
The problem is that these people are my family and my elders. And despite the fact that they raised me to read and think for myself, they do not like to be challenged or disrespected. My dad seems to think that after you reach a certain age, you have acquire some inherent wisdom that excuses bigoted comments. Maybe I’ll adopt that way of thinking when I reach that certain age but for now I’m fine with asserting my opinions in some feeble attempt to make my family more tolerant.
So that was my holiday: biting my tongue and getting yelled at for using my “computer-iPod-thingy” (phone) too much. But I got to eat a ton of good home-cooked meals and play with my grandma’s dogs so it wasn’t a complete loss. I sincerely hope everyone had a nice holiday and survived their somewhat-offensive family as well.
