As a graduating senior, I should know it all. I'm experienced and I know the ins and outs of UNCW and the people in it. But, there are some things that we are all dying to know. The things we Seahawks always talk about, but never have the gall to ask. Well, it's time to clear the air. Because, before I graduate, we have the right to know.

1. Why are there only two parking spots for our record breaking state-of-the-art gym?

I love that UNCW takes fitness seriously. I like a good elliptical action while watching my TV, but is it really that easy to get our workout on? It's already hard to make myself go to the gym instead of eating my third Island's taco of the day, but now I need to search for a parking spot for over 10 minutes? After stalking more than one fellow Seahawk to their car, only to have the impatient BMW take your spot, the UNCW gym seems to become less and less impressive.

2. What is in the wag food that induces the waggles?

Wag is life in your early years as a UNCW student. It's where you and your friends convene for story time after a night of drinking, or just for a friend dinner. Wag is a rite of passage, a gem of your youth, and a necessary experience to complete your UNCW experience. But, inevitably, when one goes to wag, you are going to get the waggles. I will not define this UNCW term, but if you are a true Seahawk, then you have been visited by the waggles more than once? What is this secret ingredient? How does one push food on the edge of average into the waggles zone? We may never know.

3. How does Morton defy the weather?

Wilmington weather is testy. You never know when it will be raining, hot like the Sahara, or a hurricane. But one building beats its own drum. It could be -37 degrees outside, but when you walk into Morton it's a summer day on the beach. If it is hot outside, bring a sweater, because Morton will be snowman-ready. You never know what to expect, but expect to be uncomfortable.

4. When will the second rave in Randall be?

We have all heard about it. The students that dared to rave in our library have gone down in history as UNCW legends. As a current student at UNCW, I wonder when we will be ready to embrace the rave mentality again. When will legend come to life and who will lead the way? For real, Randall needs to lighten up. Someone needs to step up.

5. Why isn't there a moving sidewalk down chancellors?

We have a straight shot for what seems like miles all of the way down chancellors, and yet we are all still walking down it like we live in the ancient times. Technology is the way of the future, and why won't UNCW embrace that? I'm lazy, and everyone wants to be modern; let's make it happen. UNCW: where walking is a thing of the past.™

6. Why is Dubs constantly being re-done?

I get it. A university is ever-changing, and trying to keep up with the times. But, of all the things that need to be updated on our campus, why has Dubs been on the list of renovations every single year? Sure, I ate there as a freshman, but (no offense) a freshman could be eating on the floor; as long as there is food they will come. There are better ways to spend our money: See the air conditioners/lack thereof in number three.

7. What's up with the UNCW logo?

It's so angry! I'm sorry, but people look at our logo and automatically think we are the bitchiest people in town. Our logo has resting bitch face. Our logo is Regina George. Why? We are a chill school. It does not represent us at all. It makes no sense. Rant over.

8. Why are the university apartments still a thing?

Tear them down. I lived there my freshman year, and my fifth roommate was mold. It's time UNCW; let's all move on together.

9. Where's the football?

Tailgating, mascots, football boys. Come on, UNCW. Stop playing hard to get and get with the program. Football is a college sport. It is meant for college, and everyone at UNCW is ready to embrace it. If we can have a quidditch team, we can have football team. #StartPounding

10. Why aren't we ready for the rain?

We know, as UNCW students, that it rains a lot. The curse of living near the beach is that we get testy weather. But, why hasn't UNCW adapted to this weather? All I'm saying is instead of forcing us to walk barefoot to class, get a storm drain. I feel like that should be pretty basic. I like my shoes, and I don't like getting a cold because my Vans can't handle an ocean's worth of water.

11. Holding hands while riding your bike?

I get bike riding. A majority of UNCW students ride bikes down chancellors to make sure they get to class on time. It's something we're known for. But what I don't get: Why are people holding hands while bike riding? Even worse, why are you holding hands with someone who is walking next to you while you are riding your bike? This is not necessary, let alone dangerous. PDA is gross, and you are operating machinery. Keep it to yourself. Single Seahawks for life.

12. Who's on the brainstorming committee for the Teaching Lab building?

It's time. It needs a name. It deserves a name. And if you want it, I will unselfishly offer my own name to the UNCW community to adorn its flawless brick facade. Ashley Smith Building, hell yes.

13. Is Einstein's this popular anywhere else?

I don't know about you, but I had never heard of Einsteins before UNCW, but it is always poppin'. I get it, bagels are fabulous, but why are we all so crazy about Einsteins? I can't wait two minutes for my Netflix to load, but I am willing to donate my firstborn child and my brand new car to taste that sweet pre-packaged egg white bagel.

14. Why haven't we held a "Bachelor"-style show to find our new chancellor?

If you're a UNCW Seahawk, you know rejection. Our school has been passed around from chancellor to chancellor, and personally I'm tired of being stood up by the new guy in school. No wonder we're afraid of commitment, because the guy we should trust most is changing more than the seasons. We need a man who cares. #SartarelliForTheLongHaul

15. Are segue girl and unicycle girlfriends?

A match made in heaven? I think so. Ladies, be friends, and be unique; we love you.