The Together-Forever Couple
This is the OG couple; they’re sweet, they’re adorable and you just can’t stop smiling when you see them together. They sweetly sit next to each other during the service just as they’ve been doing for the past few decades.
The Gross Couple
If you’re looking at a couple during the service and you throw up a little in your mouth, then you’re probably looking at this couple. They have their hands all over each other for far too long, in far too many places and with far too many people watching.
The Couple with the First Baby
We get it: it’s your first baby, and you’re a little apprehensive of leaving him/her in the nursery. Completely understandable! But everybody in the congregation knows this couple’s going to have to leave half-way through the service because their baby won’t stop screaming. It’s just the way life is, and this couple is just going to have to learn.
The “Are They?” Couple
This couple makes no sense. They seem like they aren’t dating, but, lo and behold, here they are sitting together again during the service. What does it mean? Are they dating? Why don’t they act like they’re dating when there isn’t a service going on? Do they only sit together? Is it a church-pew exclusive relationship?
The Awkward, Newly-Dating Couple
Ah, here we see in their natural habitat the awkward, newly-dating couple: sitting a few Bible-widths apart and visibly unsure of how much touching is appropriate. Expect them to brush each other’s fingers covertly while holding the hymnal and to glance at each other whenever the pastor mentions literally anything and blush nervously.
The Weekly Installment Couple
This is the couple that just can’t stay together. One week, they’re sitting together, and the next, they’re glaring at each other form across the aisle. Basically, they’re the main purveyors of drama for the church, and if you don’t have any qualms against gambling in a church, you can definitely play bets on whether they’ll sit together or not every Sunday.
The Youth Group Couple
This couple is usually way too young, way too into each other, way too dramatic and way too “pair the spares.” They’re probably sitting (read: cuddling) in the midst of the youth section with the youth leader occasionally and purposefully tapping the guy on the shoulder.
The Ultra-Baptist Couple
This couple’s probably not sitting together. They’re probably sitting with several friends between them: it’s extra holy. But all in all, when they do finally talk at the end of the service, it’s actually really sweet and adorable and pure.
The Presbyterian Couple
This couple’s sitting in the back, and they’re the total opposite of the Ultra-Baptist Couple. Expect hand holding, flannel and skinny jean wearing, and ~generally edginess~ to round out this couple’s aesthetic.
The Arranged Couple
This couple probably doesn’t look incredibly happy, but their families sure do. They’ll sit sandwiched between their respective little siblings, and you can tell from the deadness in their eyes the girl’s parents have already booked the church for the wedding five years in advance.
