As I lie in bed after celebrating my 21st birthday, I can’t help but think how lucky I am. In the everyday hectic-ness that is life, I often forget that I have a family that will surprise me with balloons and cards that read “I love you alatte,” a roommate that will leave a birthday cupcake on my desk for when I get home, and an incredible group of people that wish me well in the coming year (even if it's only because Facebook reminds them to). The fact that people take time out of their Saturday to let me know they are thinking of me is more appreciated than they know. There are certain people I expected messages and calls from, but every year I get a bunch of unexpected ones, whether it be from an ex I haven’t talked to in months, or an acquaintance I barely thought knew my name, and I can’t help but smile when I see that.
I didn’t spend my 21st the way I imagined I would. If you had told 15-year-old me that I wouldn’t go to a bar on my 21st, or that I wouldn’t have a party at a nightclub on my 21st, I would have wondered where I went wrong -- when I became such a loser. But the truth is I have a lifetime ahead of me to get drunk at bars and party at nightclubs. I have 4/5 of my life (yes, I plan to live to over 100!) to gamble away stupid amounts of money and remember only slivers of my evenings.
Instead, I rang in my birthday with my friend at the Merchant Marine Academy ball. We listened to Howie Day perform, slow danced to “collide,” and wandered around the academy talking and laughing, me trying not to fall in my high heels, him trying not to let me. The weather was ideal, the views were picturesque, and he made me feel like the belle of the ball. Except when midnight came around, I didn’t turn into a pumpkin. I turned into an adult, and I couldn’t have asked for a better start to my birthday. We stayed out late, got drinks at 7-11, and had a really laid-back night watching chick flicks on my laptop. I ended up sleeping the majority of the day, but it was worth it. I made my way back to the city, admiring my new license and reading birthday messages on the train. Then I spent some time with my summer program friends and my amazing uber best friend (we literally met in an Uber pool)!
So as I sit here, thinking back on my 21 years of life, I’m happy. I have days where I’m not, even weeks where I’m not, but I have people that love me, I’m exactly where I belong in life and school, and I have a lifetime of adventures ahead of me. I sometimes worry that my best times are behind me, that I can never experience a love as great as my last or a night as perfect as my last, but I have yet to not top an experience. I have dozens upon dozens of New Year’s Eves, Christmases, birthdays, weddings (hopefully only one of mine!) and more. Sure, I’ll never experience my first kiss on the park bench at camp again, but I will experience sitting on a park bench with my husband someday. And yes, I won’t have another build-a-bear birthday party at the mall, but I will get to throw my kid a build-a-bear birthday party. And no, I’ll never turn 21 again, but there are other milestones I’ll reach, and that’s all a part of growing up. When you wait for something so long and it passes so quickly, you’re almost sad, but instead of thinking of my 21st being over, I’m going to think of it as just beginning. Today is day one of the rest of my life, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.
