When I was three years old, I stopped progressing. I ceased talking and became extremely dependent on my parents. They took my to various doctors and psychiatrist. I had MIRs done and so many tests. My mother described it to me as if "someone turned off a light switch." They told my parents that I could have autism or something like that. Suddenly, a miracle happened. I began talking again, and I progressed just fine.

I often wondered what triggered me to do that? What were my thoughts during this time? It has been 17 years since that scare and many things have happened.

I traveled to France. I've been to over 20 conventions and I go to the one of the best schools in Ohio: John Carroll. I have experienced so much but yet so little. I have never been drunk or smoked weed. I have never been to the West Coast or the South. I even have never been in a relationship. My friends often joke that I am so old. But am I really?

I am the oldest of my friend group both here and at college. What are the odds, right? Anyway, I have been feeling lately rather stuck. I have been seeing people traveling all around and enjoying life. This has made me just kind of sad. I have also seen my friends kind of grown apart, and I have always dislike change. When I was younger, I despised change. I hated when things were different and new. It was because I was afraid of the unknown. I'm still scared of the unknown.

2016, the year I turned 20, has been a pretty scary year. There has been so many shootings, terrorists attacks and crazy politicians. It has been so tiring and frustrating. I don't want President Obama to leave the White House because I am afraid of losing our progression. I just want a genuine, good person as the president. Everyone seems so hateful now. We all want peace, but some are not willing to fight for it. Isn't that so strange? You have to fight for peace.

I digress. I just want to see love again. I saw love as a child. However, I did not see it because I was too involved with Barbies and Nickelodeon. The internet was a big juggernaut on how I see the world. I relied on TV and school for that. I have learned so much as a person. It may seem dumb, but is is mind-blowing. When "Glee" first came on, I would turn away when the character, Kurt, would kiss a boy. Now, I want to see more characters who are gay or Muslim or Asian who are not stereotypes. I support love.

Love is so amazing. I want just to spread it around. Love has shaped me to be who I am. My parents are incredible people. They support me with any decision, and they are so proud of me. I strive to make them proud of me. They fought for me to become who I am today. My dad once told me when I was going through that "scare" that he was prepared to take care of me the rest of his life. That is a parent. They also showed me that dogs are awesome. If I didn't have my dogs, my life wouldn't be half as good. Thank you Maui and Bubba and to the ones who have passed. RIP Alpine, Nikita and Cody.

My other family members are also my treasures. They may think I am weird at times, but they either support me or they taught me not to give a damn. Also, becoming an aunt taught me how love can be unconditional, and I will try to protect them with the best of my ability.

I also need to say I love my friends. My friends at home and at school. They are beautiful people, and it hurts me when they are sad. They all deserve the world. I want them to be successful and vibrant. To all my friends, I will always be here for you.

Because of these people (and dogs), I love my life. There was a time last year where something very serious happened. I will not write about it, but it made me question life. I would think, "if a bus hit me right now, would I care?" When I thought that, I made the decision to get counseling.

Throughout the year, my confidence grew. It grew and and it grew. I want to be an inspiration to someone like I inspire to be like my friends and parents. I still often have low points where my confidence tanks, but they are there to pick me up.

I wish I could give my life up for some people that I know. If you are suffering, please believe that life is so beautiful. 2016 will be over soon and never give up the fight on human rights, your dreams, your skills, or whatever you wish.

I am sorry that this became preachy. I just wanted to paint a picture of who I am, and what I have learned so far. However, to quote "Hamilton", "There's a million things I haven't done, just you wait. Just you wait."