It’s crazy how the universe works. I am sure you can attest to the idea that it seems as if when you are at your lowest of lows, and you’re struggling to get out of bed, and the universe has kicked you over and over and over again, out of the blue it will send you a blessing. My blessing is my best friend.

I had no idea that when this 6’1” lanky, flaming ginger and I exchanged some dap for the first time that our friendship would turn into the brotherhood it has today, but I am forever grateful. To really understand this strange jumble of a person you must first gain some back story. My blessing was the result of a high school hockey legend, who went on to play minor league puck and probably would have made it to The Show (NHL) if he hadn’t decided to hang up his skates for good to protect his health, and an art student, who would eventually turn into one of the best mothers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting (just short of my own mother, love you, Momma).

When he was born he was given a tough draw from day one. Have you ever heard of a young promising prospect in any sport that has an ailing joint or muscle? Some might say “yeah he’s good, but he’s got a knee” meaning, yeah he is talented, but his knees are old, or he already had to have surgery on it. Well, he didn’t have a knee or a shoulder; he had a heart.

If you don’t mind, I would like to bypass all of the medical vernacular and we can just chalk it up to him being born with a faulty heart valve and he went through some medical procedures when he was younger and the issue remained pretty quiet his whole life. But there was always a dark cloud in the distance, which I was made aware of when we began our friendship around sophomore year of high school. At some point in time, my best friend would be forced to say goodbye to his one true love, which was soccer. For me, I could never ever fathom being forced to give up the sport I loved. Of course, I was aware that one day I would put down my cleats and say goodbye to football, but I always thought it would be on my own term and when I was ready. And every year my best friend had his annual heart appointment to see if he was going to be able to play soccer this year. And for 4 years of our friendship those appointments were always positive. He was even granted the green light to play soccer in college. And to be able to be present in his life when he signed for his school and to see him off for his first semester and soccer camp was something I will never forget. Watching my friend, who was already a walking miracle, defy all odds and do everything in the world that people said he would never be able to do gave me strength to fight my own battles and demons. His mere presence could change my mood because in the back of my head I would always say “it’s almost as if he isn’t supposed to be here, but here he is.” It was like he was a superhero.

But recently that non-human type persona was destroyed and his world, and the world of those of us who support him came crashing down as well. When he went back for his annual heart appointment during the summer before his junior year the doctor delivered some devastating news. His playing career was over, effective immediately. And he was going to have to have an invasive surgery to receive a heart catheter. That was big, but he handled it the way he handled anything, with style and grace. And that wigged me out because I was stressing about it and he seemed as if he forgot he was about to have the surgery.

I forced myself to drudge through the halls of the hospital to be present for all the pre-surgery proceedings. And I promised myself and him that I would be there when he came out. And so it was. He seemed a little drowsy but nothing too alarming. He seemed cool, calm, and collected. And he had his girlfriend by his side so I knew he was going to be okay.

But I was wrong, the surgery results came back and they brought news that no one wanted to hear. It was time for a valve replacement. Which meant open-heart surgery. My body went numb, and I had no words to say. I was scared, but for me, I had never really been around a surgery that could be life or death like that. I had already had two minor knee scopes myself but those were flu shots compared to what I was going to have to watch my best friend go through. But like he always did, he handled it with style and grace. And over the next few months, I would stand by his side as he went in and out of the hospital, fighting infections and complications, and losing so much weight, which he didn’t have much of anyway. He looked sick, and every time it looked as if he was on the road to recovery, something else sent him back in the hospital.

You would be amazed from the thoughts that run through your head when you’re sitting by the bedside of someone you thought was invincible, in a hospital, at midnight. You hear the machines beeping and the nurses walking through the hallways, and I just prayed and prayed that he would make it through. I promise you, there is nothing more sobering than walking into a room and seeing someone you love wavering in and out of consciousness on a hospital bed. And I really began to identify what was really important to me, and what needed to take precedent in my life. Because life is short, and life is fragile, and it can be taken from you at any second. You have to remember that.

I lost countless hours of sleep, and I couldn’t eat (and I have never ever had that problem before). But that was nothing compared to what he went through. But he personifies strength. He has had every reason in the book to give up, and have a negative aspect on life. But he doesn’t, he continues to grow and live boldly. He continues to show me day in and day out, what real strength looks like. And most importantly, he has taught me to value my time here on Earth, because you have no idea when it’ll be over. Live, and live boldly.

Be well.