There’s no doubt about it: distance is absolutely, positively, undeniably horrible. Long distance relationships are so difficult, especially when you can’t remember what it was like to be alone in the first place. Distance is the unknown, the fear that shared experiences will turn into distant memories; the constant worry that we’ll no longer inhabit one another's daily thoughts.
Those last few days, hours, and minutes together creep up so quickly. Tears are unavoidable, last hugs feel like final hugs, and watching the other person drive away puts a knot in your throat you can’t seem to clear until they’re back again.
We’ve never existed this far apart, but we’re willing to try. It’s because we want it to work, we know how great we felt waking up next to one another, driving while listening to our favorite music, spending time with one another’s families, and simply existing -- in each other’s company.
If there’s anything positive that comes from distance dating, it’s the opportunity to better ourselves for the other person. No time can be wasted when we aren’t together.
Not a single moment.
There are fears, and issues, and constant worries that will arise during our time apart like: What if he/she finds someone else? What if someone takes advantage of them and I’m not there to come to the rescue? What if I’m no longer the reason for his/her happiness? Are we even what we used to be?
The answer to the last question is no. Every day we wake up different human beings, constantly making changes for better or for worse -- changes that are dictated by how we choose to spend our time apart.
Being distant from your significant other is hard, but if you were undeniably happy and in love within one mile of one another, why should those feelings disappear when you’re 3,000 miles from one another?
Distance relationships are like any other experience that involves effort. We get out of it what we put into it. If we want it to work, it will work. If a break is what’s needed to cool those constant worries, then so be it. Nothing can take away the amount of beautiful memories we’ve shared, and the only thing that can stop that from continuing is us. We are our own fate.
We have to want it.
There are a few realizations we must come to, though, to make sure we are putting all of our effort and trust into the other person. We must realize that we will meet different people, make different friendships, and ultimately have different experiences. Some say that relationships flourish with the sharing of experiences, but these differences are topics for phone conversations now. We are covering two different parts of the world at once, so we have to give each other props, that’s pretty incredible.
We must understand that we each have other priorities now, and that sometimes, things will get difficult and stressful, but that’s perfectly fine. The distance could be brought upon by school, military, or job locations. Whatever it may be, we must understand that we are in need of one another’s constant love and support. We must encourage one another to be their best self, to have fun with whatever they do, and understand that at this point in time, these experiences weren’t meant to be shared next to one another.
Other long distance relationship advice may say “take advantage of technology,” but in time, even that won’t feel like enough. Distance is never easy, but the best way to take the chance it to do so wholeheartedly. Be trusting, be understanding, be open-minded.
That person over there is the same person that was in our arms just hours, days, or months before. We need to reminisce the amazing memories we've already made while side by side, and remain optimistic that they aren’t the last.
Only we control our future.
