We are all liars! On an average day, a person will lie 2-3 times in a single conversation. 2-3 times. If you're one of these people don't feel bad; you're definitely not alone. I certainly don't exclude myself from this group. I've told my share of lies. While some of them come back to bite me in the butt, most of them slide through the cracks unacknowledged by other people, and I’m left unscathed.
First off, it’d be nice to remind ourselves, what’s so bad about lying? Obviously not telling the truth can damage or destroy trust in relationships, that’s a given. I can’t say I know many people who love being deceived. If you ask a psychiatrist they might say lying takes a toll not only on your relationships, but on your physical and mental health. When you tell a lie your body releases a number of stress hormones that cause an increase in heartrate and blood pressure. That baby adrenaline rush you feel when you tell a lie and a person believes you, multiplied 2-3 times per every conversation, can get to be kind of wearisome for your poor little endocrine system.
So basically, lying has a double negative effect. The real question now is: if we know lying is bad why do we still do it? Furthermore, why do we do it so often? For one thing, telling the truth may not always be in our best interest! I think it’s safe to say that just about everyone has a complicated life that forces them to balance different sides of themselves. Sometimes it’s easier or safer to make up a story or neglect to tell one to avoid complication or save face for yourself. Alternatively, sometimes our lives seem boring to us, so to make ourselves sound more exciting we'll embellish a story with false facts about ourselves. (This happens even more often when we interact with strangers and with significant others). In this regard, we’re lying to protect or elevate ourselves, our own interests, our image, etc..
We aren’t always that selfish though. Occasionally we fib to protect people we care about. If my roommate buys the world’s ugliest dress but gushes about how much she adores it, I’m not going to ruin her happiness by telling her it’s unattractive. Am I lying when I tell her it’s cute? Yes! Am I also saving both of us from disappointment and awkwardness down the line? You bet I am! This type of lie is debated in ethics a lot! Is it ok to purposefully not tell the truth if it’s for the benefit of someone else?
The line between truth and lie is a blurry one. There are thousands of ways to avoid or twist the truth, circumstances of conversation are always different, and “the honesty policy” isn’t always the right one. The trouble I have with lying is that it has become too easy. We live in a society where little fibs have become so arbitrary that sometimes we don’t even realize what we’re saying. I’m not advocating for people telling the truth all the time (because let’s face it if I said that I’d be a liar and a hypocrite). But I would suggest that next time you talk to a stranger, or anyone for that matter, just take a second to check yourself. Which little fibs are actually necessary? See if maybe, just maybe, you feel any more relaxed, happy, or free with nothing but the truth to back you up.
