Do You Truly Love Yourself?

Do You Truly Love Yourself?

What does it look like if you do?
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I was sitting in basic counseling skills, one of my many psychology classes, and I learned something about myself. I learned that I do not fully love myself, that there are certain habits that I do that do not match up with people who have the ability to love themselves. I actually believed that I had reached the point in which I fully loved myself, I am close though.

If you fully love yourself it means to have respect for yourself in a way that shows in a positive self image along with unconditional self-acceptance. This means that no mater what, and I mean NO MATTER WHAT, you accept yourself every single day. It is equally important to have a healthy regard in knowing that you are in fact a worthy human. This also then means that you are not arrogant, conceited, or even thinking that you are above everyone else deserving better than anyone.

You are aware of your responsibility to regulate your feelings and know how to share them with others. This means you have the ability to know how to articulate they way you feel without just word vomiting on people all of the time. You know that your worth must be defined by yourself and not getting this acceptance from other people or societal standards.

Being able to take time for yourself is important so that you can be there to support others. Which means you need to be selfish sometimes, so you can help others without motive for yourself. If you cannot put yourself first in taking care of your physical and mental well being how can you help those around you? Putting other people's problems on your own shoulders while shoving yours down only backfires in the end. Neither your problems or their problems end up resolving themselves.

If you are able to love yourself then you are able to manage things in life. Things such as time and finances in a way that benefits you and does not become a burden. The ability to not constantly buying the newest thing to put you ahead of everyone else.

If you do not love yourself, you overly focus on yourself.

Sounds like an oxymoron right? Well actually no it's not. You are the type of person who has set overly high standards for yourself and you have negative self talk either in your mind and/or out loud. There is a present need to talk about yourself to others and you feed off of their compliments, even though you don't believe them. You spend so much time thinking about they way that other's perceive you, thinking about every statement or outfit.

Another aspect is the inability to receive compliments. I know that I personally find this extremely difficult. With certain people I have learned how to avoid talking about it when it comes up. I just feel extremely uncomfortable when people compliment me, I try to turn the conversation to avoid the topic. The only way I can work with compliments if I agree with them.

You might have this uncanny ability in which you can ignore your own feelings, you take on the world around you and help others. Which is good that you have such a passion to help, but your passion is misguided. Helping yourself and talking about your feelings is the only way to fully be able to help others. Like the words of Ed Sheeran says in his new song "Save Myself" it is important to help yourself first. "Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels, I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills, And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell. So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself. I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain, cause human beings are destined to radiate or drain. What line do we stand upon cause from here it looks the same? And only scars remain." Like they tell you to do on the airplane in cause the oxygen masks come down, you can't help people if you are dead yourself.

It is OK that you are not perfect, love yourself anyway. Honestly perfection is overrated embrace your uniqueness. It is what makes this world a beautiful place.

Cover Image Credit: http://lifeishotblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dsc03286-rt2-love-yourself-overlay-sig-80.jpg

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8 Struggles Of Being 21 And Looking 12

The struggle is real, my friends.
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“You'll appreciate it when you're older." Do you know how many times my mom has told me this? Too many to count. Every time I complain about looking young that is the response I get. I know she's right, I will love looking young when I'm in my 40s. However, looking young is a real struggle in your 20s. Here's what we have to deal with:

1. Everyone thinks your younger sister or brother is the older one.

True story: someone actually thought my younger sister was my mom once. I've really gotten used to this but it still sucks.

2. You ALWAYS get carded.

Every. Single. Time. Since I know I look young, I never even bothered with a fake ID my first couple of years of college because I knew it would never work. If I'm being completely honest, I was nervous when I turned 21 that the bartender would think my real driver's license was a fake.

3. People look at your driver's license for an awkward amount of time.

So no one has actually thought my real driver's license is fake but that doesn't stop them from doing a double take and giving me *that look.* The look that says, “Wow, you don't look that old." And sometimes people will just flat out say that. The best part is this doesn't just happen when you're purchasing alcohol. This has happened to me at the movie theater.

SEE ALSO: 10 Things People Who Look 12 Hate Hearing

4. People will give you *that look* when they see you drinking alcohol.

You just want to turn around and scream “I'M 21, IT'S LEGAL. STOP JUDGING ME."

5. People are shocked to find out you're in college.

If I had a dollar for every time someone had a shocked expression on their face after I told them I'm a junior in college I could pay off all of my student loan debt. It's funny because when random people ask me how school is going, I pretty much assume they think I'm in high school and the shocked look on their face when I start to talk about my college classes confirms I'm right.

6. For some reason wearing your hair in a ponytail makes you look younger.

I don't understand this one but it's true. Especially if I don't have any makeup on I could honestly pass for a child.

7. Meeting an actual 12-year-old who looks older than you.

We all know one. That random 12-year-old who looks extremely mature for her age and you get angry because life isn't fair.

8. Being handed a kids' menu.

This is my personal favorite. It happens more often than it should. The best part of this is it's your turn to give someone a look. The look that says, "You've got to be kidding me".

Looking young is a real struggle and I don't think everyone realizes it. However, with all the struggles that come with looking young, we still take advantage of it. Have you ever gone to a museum or event where if you're under a certain age you get in for a discounted price? Yeah? Well, that's when I bet you wish you were us. And kids' meals are way cheaper than regular meals so there have definitely been a couple times when I've kept that kids' menu.

So, all in all, it's not the worst thing in the world but it's definitely a struggle.

Cover Image Credit: Jenna Collins

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7 Little Forms Of Self-Care You Can Do On The Daily

Everyone has bad days, let's make them a little better!

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The truth is everyone has at least one bad day in their lives. Even though some don't want to admit it, there are small things that everyone can do to make their bad days a little bit brighter.

1. Write encouraging notes/quotes in your planner.

I found that writing small notes of encouragement above random days in my planner makes me smile when I'm stressing in lecture.

2. Find a great new song to listen to.

For me, perusing Spotify for a random playlist, whether it be a throwback song that I forgot about or a brand new song by an artist that I never listened to can brighten my day.

3. Clearing your desk and starting fresh.

Small things like organizing and clearing my desk make me feel a lot better. I clean off the trash and random papers that don't need my attention at that very moment and I'm ready to restart. Even putting my tabs into OneTab, an add on for most computers that files your open tabs, and focusing on one class at a time is relaxing.

4. Lighting a new candle/putting a new scent in your diffuser.

A new scent can actually change the mood that you are in. I just changed the wax in my warmer and I already feel more open to what is next to come.

5. Make your bed.

If it isn't a habit of yours already, just make your bed. It is much more refreshing to come back to your room to a nice bed rather than just wanting to jump in and forget all your responsibilities.

6. Call your mom, grandma, or grandpa.

Just hearing my mom's voice makes me feel a lot better. Even if it is "time consuming", I promise you will feel so much better!

7. Clean out your phone.

Delete old pictures, apps, social media, and contacts that you don't need or want anymore. By doing so, it will open up more space on your phone and open more head space.

No matter how bad your day is, just know that it will get better!

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