I was sitting in basic counseling skills, one of my many psychology classes, and I learned something about myself. I learned that I do not fully love myself, that there are certain habits that I do that do not match up with people who have the ability to love themselves. I actually believed that I had reached the point in which I fully loved myself, I am close though.
If you fully love yourself it means to have respect for yourself in a way that shows in a positive self image along with unconditional self-acceptance. This means that no mater what, and I mean NO MATTER WHAT, you accept yourself every single day. It is equally important to have a healthy regard in knowing that you are in fact a worthy human. This also then means that you are not arrogant, conceited, or even thinking that you are above everyone else deserving better than anyone.
You are aware of your responsibility to regulate your feelings and know how to share them with others. This means you have the ability to know how to articulate they way you feel without just word vomiting on people all of the time. You know that your worth must be defined by yourself and not getting this acceptance from other people or societal standards.
Being able to take time for yourself is important so that you can be there to support others. Which means you need to be selfish sometimes, so you can help others without motive for yourself. If you cannot put yourself first in taking care of your physical and mental well being how can you help those around you? Putting other people's problems on your own shoulders while shoving yours down only backfires in the end. Neither your problems or their problems end up resolving themselves.
If you are able to love yourself then you are able to manage things in life. Things such as time and finances in a way that benefits you and does not become a burden. The ability to not constantly buying the newest thing to put you ahead of everyone else.
If you do not love yourself, you overly focus on yourself.
Sounds like an oxymoron right? Well actually no it's not. You are the type of person who has set overly high standards for yourself and you have negative self talk either in your mind and/or out loud. There is a present need to talk about yourself to others and you feed off of their compliments, even though you don't believe them. You spend so much time thinking about they way that other's perceive you, thinking about every statement or outfit.
Another aspect is the inability to receive compliments. I know that I personally find this extremely difficult. With certain people I have learned how to avoid talking about it when it comes up. I just feel extremely uncomfortable when people compliment me, I try to turn the conversation to avoid the topic. The only way I can work with compliments if I agree with them.
You might have this uncanny ability in which you can ignore your own feelings, you take on the world around you and help others. Which is good that you have such a passion to help, but your passion is misguided. Helping yourself and talking about your feelings is the only way to fully be able to help others. Like the words of Ed Sheeran says in his new song "Save Myself" it is important to help yourself first. "Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels, I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills, And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell. So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself. I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain, cause human beings are destined to radiate or drain. What line do we stand upon cause from here it looks the same? And only scars remain." Like they tell you to do on the airplane in cause the oxygen masks come down, you can't help people if you are dead yourself.
It is OK that you are not perfect, love yourself anyway. Honestly perfection is overrated embrace your uniqueness. It is what makes this world a beautiful place.
