Dear everyone who is guilty of loving too hard: Stop feeling guilty about it. Whether it's talking to someone new romantically, or even as just a friend, we often times get turned away when our true colors start to show. What are those "true colors" exactly? You may be someone who loves too hard if every day you send the first text that says "how are you!?". You may be someone who loves too hard if every time that friend, crush, or significant other turns down plans with you for plans with someone else it feels like it is the end of the world. Loving too hard or caring too much is a trait that feels like hell. No matter how much we try to stop it, we just can't. Is it just embedded in our DNA? Is it because I'm a Taurus and it's just in my stars?! Who knows. But caring too much/loving too hard more often than not makes the person who is doing the caring feel like shit.

Don't get me wrong, when we are having fun with our friends or the person we are caring too much about, we are having a blast. It's the old saying "When it's good it's great, but when it's bad, man is it fucking terrible". It starts off like any normal interaction. You talk to them all the time and you make plans and you hang out. Then somewhere along the way, it shifts. Eventually they start to text less, not show up as much, and hang out with other people. Then you, the person who cares way too much, takes it personally. I mean it must be you right? You must be annoying, or overbearing. Maybe you just aren't as fun as you think you are. Well I got news for you, that's not true.

I've been told that I personally have a heightened sense of emotion. Which to me is a nice way of saying "you're a little bit crazy". Maybe that is true. Maybe me and the rest of us who care too much and love too hard do have a heightened sense of emotion. When we feel, we feel with everything inside of us. Maybe that does make us crazy. Or maybe we are brave, and strong as hell. Maybe we are the ones that people should aspire to be. Because in today's society it is so easy to be someone who runs. Someone who becomes scared of how they feel and takes off. People are so used to being rejected and so used to being hurt that the second that they start to care, they shut down. As someone who cares too much I can't understand how someone can just shut it off, but that's besides the point. The point is, we are the ones that no matter how many friends have left our lives, no matter how many times people have stopped talking to us or told us we were "too much", we never stopped believing in people. We never stopped feeling as though every single person deserves every ounce of love that we have to give.

With our "heightened sense of emotion" we are very intuitive. With just one look or one touch or one conversation we can see when someone is hurt. We can tell by the shifting of a gaze during a smile that they aren't truly happy. We can tell by a nervous laughter that they're trying not to feel what makes them want to cry. We look for the people who we feel need the most help, and we use the love that we have to "fix" them. We want to take on the responsibility of nurturing this new friend, this new lover, this new person, until they see just how wonderful they are. But we have to realize that it isn't up to us. It isn't our job to take in those that have been so hurt they are afraid of reciprocating the love we have to give.

Often times, I have realized that I myself need some fixing. I love so deeply and so hard when I care about somebody because that is exactly what I need in return. I want to be that friend's "best friend". I want to be the one that person wants around all of the time. But instead of looking for that love in return from someone who isn't capable of giving it, why don't we give that love to ourselves? Wait! Don't click the exit button on this article! I know, I know, it's cheesy and cliche but hear me out. We are so capable of caring and loving, we know this because we do it all of the time. So much so that sometimes it's drives us crazy. So why can't we love ourselves that way?

When we end up losing a friendship that seemed so solid, it breaks our hearts. Losing a best friend is truly like a break up. Sometimes people end up losing someone they love because they expected everything that they gave back in return(as they should, in my own personal, level headed, overbearing opinion). Well what if we just loved ourselves like we loved others? Instead of complimenting someone who never returns the compliments, look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love, but that love that you want to receive also needs to come from yourself. Forget all of the times that people have called you "clingy" or "needy". I hate the negativity in that. Push everything aside and remind yourself of how wonderful you are. The more you know it and live by it, the more others will know it as well. Cling to yourself. Need yourself.

I know all of this isn't as easy as it sounds, trust me. I also know it's easy for people to experience a loss of a relationship and then close up. That's how we end up with so many people who aren't able to return how we feel. It's easy to say "I will never care about somebody ever again" because trust me I have said it many times. But let me reassure you, that doesn't have to be the case. If you love yourself first you will be radiant. You will start attracting those who are also confident and who aren't afraid of intense love. It is ok to feel things with all of your heart but you need to learn that not everybody deserve's all you have to give. Do not waste your time on people who make you feel less than you are worth. Do not waste your time on people who do not put in as much effort into the relationship/friendship as you do. The more you focus on self love and making sure that your mind and your heart are healed, the better you will feel. The more you "fix" yourself, you will attract fewer people who also need to be fixed and attract those who are ready to care for you as strongly as you care for yourself and for them.