When I think ADHD, I picture little kids screaming while they run around the room; not me. Living with ADHD is not easy and I didn't get diagnosed until I was a junior in high school. Why so late? Well, not everyone that is bouncing off the walls. Some can fidget, shake their knees when sitting, or some can be sitting quietly and look deep into thought. My parents we not aware of all the signs of ADHD because their view was just like mine. When talking to others about having ADHD it took people by surprise that I have it. Well, mostly people I work with or my fellow classmates. While this topic was a conversation piece for a good week it occurred to me that not many people are aware of the many ways it effects people. So here I am, attempting to explain what my life is like living with ADHD and the struggles I face that come naturally to others.

I can either not focus at all or I focus on something way too much.

This is because if it's not grabbing my interest, my brain chooses to block it out. I am not just talking about how I always hated geometry class. If a conversation is boring, forget about it. If I'm in meeting, my mind would rather focus on how many times the speaker clicks his pen, and it does. However, when I find something I'm interested in, my brain will constantly think about it and want to do it over everything else no matter how high it is on my, 'To Do List'. I'm either overly obsessed OR I'm not interested.

Multitasking is easy.

Some think that ADHD causes us to not pay attention and be easily distracted. We can actually focus on multiple things at once, it's just our thoughts form quickly. Sometimes they even form too quickly for others to comprehend what's going on.

I tend to interrupt conversations and I am so sorry.

ADHD makes it hard for me to organize my thoughts and a good idea is easily forgotten so I tend to blurt things out. I'm aware that I do it, I am not happy that I do because it's rude. I feel terrible when I do this and I try to stop it but my brain sends words out my mouth faster than I can think to keep it until it's my turn to talk.

My emotions are heightened and out of control.

This is one of the symptoms ADHD brings that I absolutely can't stand. I live with a permanent short fuse. No, I am not screaming my head off because a bird pooped on my car and I stubbed my toe. It's because of frustration I get about myself whether it be because others can't understand what I'm trying to say or how simple tasks are hard for me and others don't know why.

I am always running late.

NO, I do not want to be late. YES, I do plan ahead. ADHD causes me to estimate the time it will take me to complete tasks, completely wrong. I may be able to plan my day but I can't predict when my attention will wander or how many times I will forget something when trying to leave the house. No matter what, I will be late.

Figuring out how to complete a task is horrendous.

This also correlates with my terrible time management. It takes me a while to complete a task because forming the steps I need to take in order to even start the task is a challenge.

I have a fear of missing out.

This makes me get really excited about things and make plans with people before thinking them through. Which ends up with me being overwhelmed with everything and cause a mental break down. Why do I do this to myself every time? I blame it on my Fear of missing out on a good time... oops.

I lose objects I just had in my hand & will have no clue where I put it.

Most commonly this will always tend to be either my cell phone, car keys, or money. If it fits in one hand, I WILL lose it. I cannot express to you how many times I leave my bedroom with my phone in my hand and it's gone by the time I hit the front door. The same goes for when I walk into a room and have no recollection of why I walked in there.

Mentally responding to text messages.

I do this ALL the time. I will open a text, respond in my head and forget to actually text them back. Yes, I am the one who leaves people on read. BUT, I am also the person who wonders why you're not answering until I realize hours later that it was me... GUILTY AS CHARGED.

I wish people would understand that I can't chose to turn it on & off.

This is a disorder that effects my brain. If you haven't noticed by now, your brain controls you; It's not the other way around. For those who think we just need discipline or that we're just lazy, you're wrong. We are highly intelligent people who can be great multi-taskers that can't focus or we focus on one thing and cannot multitask. EVERY DAY we are battling this and no, our thoughts never stop.