Going to college can be one of the best times of your life. You get to further your education and knowledge about the world's processes, meet an abundance of new people, create new friendships and broaden your horizons. At the same time, college can be one of the most confusing times of your life. You're figuring out what kind of person you want to be, what you want for a career, who you want to keep in your life, where you want to live and what's considered "home."

I chose to go to school far from my small hometown, and it has been the best and craziest decision of my life. Although I know I'm doing great things for myself at my university that would not be possible to do in my hometown, my heart sometimes feels split and aches for my family and old friends. I've felt good, bad and thousands of feelings in between about being away. Home will always be home, but it's difficult to sometimes accept that the place I'm at now is also home.

I feel guilty.

I feel guilty for not being able to share some of my family members' milestones with them. I feel guilty that I wasn't physically there for my best friend when her heart got broken. Sometimes, I feel guilty when I succeed at school, and most of all, I feel guilty whenever I refer to my new city as "home" to my hometown friends and family. I know they understand what I mean, but at the same time I hesitate to call college "home" because I know that the place I grew up in will always be my first home.

I feel well-rounded.

I feel like I've done so many contrasting things with my life. I've played sports, I've acted, I've sang. I now work with new students in transitioning to college life, I volunteer my time and I focus on my education. I've had many different types of people as friends in both places I've lived, and I feel like having two homes has put me in more diverse situations than I would have been in staying in my small town where everyone knows everyone (and their business). I'm not saying I don't miss knowing my cashier at the grocery store on a first name basis or running into everyone everywhere, but I also like the privacy and oblivion of living in a city.

I feel brokenhearted.

Most days in my still new environment, I'm OK, but some days I ache for my mom's hugs, my dad saying "good afternoon" to me whenever I slept past 10 a.m., my brother's annoying tendencies and long drives with my childhood friends. On the contrary, when I'm in my hometown for breaks, my heart hurts because I feel like I'm not bettering myself there and that I feel stuck in high school and in a place that I'm not sure I belong. My heart doesn't feel complete in either place, and that's one of the hardest things to grasp.

I feel successful.

In college, I feel like I have the world to see, and I can do anything. I feel like I have a purpose, and I feel successful. I'm doing well where I am. I felt success at home in the past, and those memories will always stay with me as a reminder that I am capable of doing even some of the most challenging things.

I feel at home.

I feel comfortable, supported and loved in both of my homes. Home is where the heart is, and my heart has a place in my small hometown and my college city. Although being torn between two places can be a blessing and a curse, I'm thankful to have people that make both homes happy places to be, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to be able to have two homes.