Leaving my family behind wasn't hard but there was things I wanted to say to my mom but didn't know how. Sometimes sitting in my dorm I wait my mom to run in to show me some pimple popping video or show me some food video she wanting to try out, I never thought I would miss the little random things she did that I would've sworn was so unbelievably weird. So Mom if you're reading this here's 5 things I wish I would've said if I could have replayed that day:

1. Thank you for pushing me in soccer and cross country.

Mom, I wouldn't have made it as far as I did in either sport without you making me practice or making me dedicate myself. Granted you weren't a soccer player but you came to every game in-state and out of state, you learned the game and paid for whatever I wanted even if the cleats had no effect on my terrible footwork. You've put so much money into both sports as well as cheer and I never really truly thanked you. Also, still funny how you broke your foot showing me how to herkie.

2. Mom, I understand not to put my whites with my colors.

I know I'm lazy on laundry and throw everything in the dryer but I promise my maroon shirt won't go in with my white shirt. I probably will dry my whites without the dryer sheet but you can't win that battle, that's a losing battle. And I promise to fold my clothes every Saturday night unless my OCD just drives me bonkers.

3. I may want to see my dog but I want to see you too not just the dog.

Okay mom you know I love my dog but I love you too and sometimes I need to facetime you both. But we both know Princess won't understand that I want to see but you understand I miss you so that's all that matters. And yes I do go through withdrawals because I miss my psychotic dog but the psychotic dog can't come visit like you can.

4.I promise you I won't grow up.

Let's be honest mother, I'm going to eat those zebra rolls I stashed in my dorm like I did in high school and watch Lion King or TMNT. And I probably will still sing in the shower to stupid music and text you when I'm in the bathroom about food. I promise I will still wake up out a dead sleep for 12 a.m. drives to waffle house for peanut butter waffles and play Pokémon on the way. I may have turned 18 going on 19 but I'm still a six-year-old in a bigger body.

5.I'm going to college for you.

You may have had to give up your dreams of being a lawyer with a criminal justice degree but you're lucky I got your ambitions. One day you can do whatever when I become a family attorney and not have to pay another bill. You faced a lot that normally would make others give up and question "why". If I hadn't gotten your ambition I probably would've joined the army and taken it easy in high school. So when I get this degree and law school you'll be taken care of, so stop stressing now because it's all going to be taken care of.

I love you mom even though I can be stubborn and impulsive. I even loved you after all the harsh words and moments of being grounded, I understand why you did it. I love you, mom.