Today, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and I am not sure to handle it.

Today, October 12^th, 2016 I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I do not want to feel like this, I do not want something to be wrong with me. I do want to feel sad, I do not want to be constantly tired and irritable either. I want to be able to do the things I want without this holding me back. My doctor said since I am so young that I will get through this, that I will get better, and feel better.

Today. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and that’s okay. I am still a happy person, I still laugh and smile. I take care of my two beautiful children and do what needs to be done daily and weekly basis, I still make it to all my appointments and theirs. I do my best to stay on top of things; chores, school, and finding a job, as well as taking care of my children, but then it just gets overwhelming and I feel as if too much is on my shoulders.

Sometimes I feel as if the world is just going to topple down on me, even though I know it won’t. Some days I do not want to get out of bed, I just want to sleep forever, but I don’t. I have responsibilities that need to be taken care of.

Today, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, but I will not let that define me as a person. I will not let it take over my life, mind, and body. I will beat this depression. I will within time. I will do what it takes to no longer feel like this. Sometimes it is hard to describe, and personally. I do not know why this is affecting me so much, nothing too drastic is happening, it just happened without a reasonable cause. It sucks.

Today, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and postpartum depression sucks. It sucks, to let your mind close in on you. To have it turn its back against you and your happiest self. Postpartum depression sucks, I won’t say it is easy because it’s not. No mental illness is easy; I do not like when others pretend to have them because it's “cute.” Mental illness is not cute, it is horrid to have an inner battle with yourself and not know what to do, or how to cope. For the longest time I would not talk about something like this because it is embarrassing to me, I hate feeling as if something is wrong and not right. So postpartum depression sucks.

Today, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and I will not let it overcome me. I will get through this.

If you are having feelings that you do not think are right please seek help with your doctor, you are not alone. I am here with you, and so are many others, and together, we will get through it.