Years go by and there is not even a call. From five years old on, the contact is minimal and only initiated by you...the child. Your heart hurts, always being pulled between hating the parent who abandoned you, and wondering what you did wrong to make them go away. Even as an adult, the pain washes over you at the most inconvenient of times. You hold your own babies close, feel their breath against your chest, and wonder how a parent can just leave their child.
Sometimes the world continues to move on without any contact from the person who left you when you were the most vulnerable, and when you needed them the most. Other times, they pop up in the most unexpected ways with a surprise visit that you aren't sure you are ready. Once again your heart hurts. One piece tells you to accept their visit, and another tells you to blow them off the way they have your entire life. Feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place since you were taken so off guard, you tell them your address and prepare yourself by hyperventilating in the back room.
Hours go by and they show up at your door. Your heart sinks and flies all at once. You cannot believe they are standing in front of you.
