For the women that say I am not a feminist, please, evaluate your intentions before stifling someone else's dreams.
In light of the recent demonstrations around Women's Rights, the Pro-Life/Pro-Choice Debate, and public fear that our current president doesn't respect women, I have been a part of several conversations regarding the topic of feminism. Let's be serious, I am a female collegian in 2017, it's impossible to avoid this topic. I am not typically someone who is outspoken about her beliefs when it comes to politics; this is for good reason. Honestly, I don't know nearly enough about most policies to make an assertion on whether or not they should be implemented on a large scale. This isn't a political post any more than a social rant.
Let me start off by introducing me...a short backstory for the article if you'll indulge.
Hi, I'm Athena, and I want nothing more than to be a mom. Yeah, that's right. I am nearly 21-years old, a practicing Orthodox Christian, and senior level psychology student, and the proud daughter of a stay-at-home-mom. Since I was a little girl, I have wanted nothing more than to find my husband, have some babies, and devote my entire life to creating as much comfort and joy for my family as I possibly can.
Now, I am surrounded by beautiful, powerful women. I am in contact with women who have broken barriers, done more than anyone ever imagined they could. My sister, through nothing but hard work and willpower, ascended the ladder at her job to be one of the youngest management positions in her company. A dear friend has successfully juggled a young marriage and shone forth in law school. A friend turned sister, has taken on everything life has thrown at her, encouraged her faith, continued her education, all while caring for a newborn son. All of these women are strong. All of these women are doing important and life-changing things.
Unfortunately, inclusive has become the crux of feminism. Feminism is about these ideas that women can do anything, which I agree with. Feminism can be about breaking down traditional gender roles, which is a wonderful goal. It has somehow simultaneously peppered with ideas that women who adhere to traditional gender roles are "doing nothing" or are "anti-feminist." I hold the idea that being a wife and mother is just as noble a calling as being a lawyer, as managing a company, as being a doctor, or as not having children. These decisions are personal choices, they're optimizations of a woman's personal strengths and desires.
Imagine how stifling it would be to have society tell a young woman at the top of her class that she should be ashamed of wanting a career she's dreamed of since she was small. Imagine now, society as a whole telling a woman who marries young, and immediately starts having children, that she is selling herself short. How are these different? Is one less disrespectful than the other?
Someone, despite desiring to do bear children, raises them to be decent people with opinions and gifts, something women have been doing since the dawn of time, I am not feminist enough. Regardless of the fact that I am soon going to have a 4-year degree, something that I have worked hard for, regardless of the fact that I have been steadily working since I was 13-years old, yet I cannot see my future without children, I am not feminist enough. To that I say...whether I go back to work after my kids are in school, or whether I chose to homeschool, I will know my value. Whether I am active in my prospective career in psychology or not, I will be living up to my value. It's hard work; my mother, along with every other homemaker, works a 24/7 job punctuated by sleepless nights, doubt, and anxiety. The payment outweighs joy, love, laughter, memories, fidelity, and warmth. I would take that over a check anyway. The satisfaction of seeing a family grow, of seeing myself grow, that’s something no one could ever take away.
