As you know, "cuffing season" is among us. If you are not familiar with the phrase "cuffing season", it is the timeframe where single individuals are on the prowl for a "boo thang" or better known as a "boyfriend/girlfriend". This season usually starts in October and possibly does not end until a little after Valentine's Day – in easier terms, having companionship in the colder months. Sometimes single people can feel pressure to be in a relationship or date for a plethora of reasons. The thing that concerns me with this particular "season" is that we may get into a relationship or began to date a person out of desperation. Dating out of desperation my lead to staying with someone out of comfort, fear, coercion, etc. which can ultimately lead to us settling.
Today's blog post is to encourage my readers not to stay in a relationship or "situationship" solely because of comfort. I want to encourage and remind you that you deserve more and that you should not have to stay in a dating relationship if you feel unsafe, uncomfortable or unloved. Most people may assume that I am speaking only towards women, but I am speaking to my fellas as well – we all deserve to be with someone that will love us well. In regards to dating and relationships, I hope that you are aware of the importance of placing our hope and security in the Lord and the fact that our partner will be imperfect just like we are. Learning how to give grace + mercy is not the easiest, but that is why we need to depend on Jesus in our relationships; He is the one that teaches us how to love.
If we sit and think about staying in a dating relationship or whatever you may want to label it as, I pray we realize that no fruit can bear from that particular tree. Staying out of comfort leads to settling in a relationship which is not life-giving at all. Now don't get me wrong, companionship is a beautiful thing, God created us not to be alone (Genesis 2:18) and He also called some of us to marriage, but I want to speak life + truth that being in a relationship or getting married should not be our "goal" per se, it can be a desire, but not a goal because there is more to life than just being in a relationship.
If I am being transparent with you, it can be easy to stay in a relationship, situationship, at a job, with a "friend" group … the list could continue out of comfort because of various reasons. We may decide to stay because of fear, embarrassment, low self-esteem or anything really, but I want to encourage you that you don't have to. You deserve better and you are worth more.
If you are reading this blog post and you are contemplating if you should stay in something that you are second-guessing, I pray you turn to the Lord for wisdom, clarity and strength. There is peace and freedom in letting go of what is holding you back or bringing you down.
