I couldn't show up on time for something even if my life depended on it, and honestly, I don't feel bad about it anymore. It's a personality trait at this point.
If you are expecting to go to dinner at 8 o'clock, you better tell me we're eating at 7:30, because there is no way I'm showing up to that reservation on time, and if you want to go see a movie, seriously never let me decide the movie or when because if I know the showtime, we will miss the previews, which ultimately means that we're going to miss the first ten minutes of the movie too because we'll have to get our tickets and snacks.
Never, under any circumstances, tell me the time of an important event that you need me to be at. Seriously, I will be late. So if you expect me to meet your parents, I'm going to want to make a good impression, so lie to me about the time. It's the best - for everyone involved.
I don't try to show up late, I just get so easily distracted. Also, a big part of my lack of time management skills is related directly to sleep. If I know I'm going to be late if I sleep in just five more minutes, I will definitely sleep in for those five minutes - if not longer. I honestly think I love sleep more than anything else in the entire world. We're very happy together.
Of course, there are certain things showing up to on time is important - like work or class, or I don't know, a wedding, maybe? Actually, I've been late to every wedding I've attended too. Don't ever let me be part of your wedding party. I won't be offended - I'll probably be napping. Work and class are very important and have an impact on my future, so I take those things seriously, but my world isn't going to end if I'm fourteen minutes late to brunch.
And if you're personally offended by my tardiness, our friendship probably won't work out very well. As I said, I'm not really sorry for being late at this point. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life, and I tend to forget most things. I like to think of my never-ending tardiness as somewhat charming because although punctuality is an issue, consistency is not. I may not show up on time, but at least you know I'll always be late. See, charming, right?
Being late doesn't mean I won't show at all. I'll never intentionally bail or give some excuse as to why I couldn't make it. If I make a promise or commitment, I follow through - it just may not be the time you had originally hoped for. Also, I'm completely okay with jokes about my issues with being on time. Being late is just who I am.