There are so many on and off people in my life. There are the on and off friends between school and home. There are the on and off family members I talk to. I want to talk about the boy who has been in my life for many months, who is more or less my 'on and off' guy.
You were someone I liked, and you thankfully made the first move. I had to talk to you first, but that was okay because you would respond back. You found out I liked you and that is how we got to be a little more than friends. As it turns out, you kind of liked me back. You didn't entirely know your feelings, but there were some.
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We were friends just for our first time hanging out. I guess you didn't want to move things too fast with me and wanted to figure out your feelings. We didn't talk for almost 2 months after that night. Then we started talking again, more frequent than you had in the past. It was a week straight; our longest time ever talking. We then hung out and became more than friends. You told me you liked me, so I thought that was what we were.
You didn't talk to me for over a month. I was trying to move on from you because I thought that you only wanted me for one thing, but you didn't. You finally talked to me again and apologized for your absence. I confronted you for what you did and you denied everything.
You still only talk to me when it seems convenient for you. Every couple weeks we get a good conversation in. I remember when you did it again and every time it happens I will tell you how much I like you, but also how much I hate you. You know all of this, and yet you do nothing to change anything that is happening. I see you in public and it is a small smile. I get nervous when I see you because I don't know if you want to see me.
We have not hung out in a while. When it is convenient for you to be around, I am busy or you are. When it is not, I am not busy and neither are you. We seem to just have our timing off and I want it to be right. It is almost the end of the school year, so our timing does need to be right soon or the chance may go away.
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I want you to know that I cannot just wait around for you to be there. I want you in my life more than you know. I want you to be there for me at any time of the day. I want to be more than just someone you talk to when it seems the best for you.
Tell me you want me around. Tell me you want me to stay. Tell me you see more and put the effort in for more. I'm not going to be around forever. I am not going to wait around for you to be my Prince Charming.