I miss you.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish you were still here. When you left, my world was torn apart. What am I supposed to do now? Pretend I don't miss you and it doesn't hurt after two, or three, or four years without you. I can't.

If I could just have one more day with you, I wouldn't check my phone, I wouldn't waste the time away and I wouldn't be the one talking. It would be your day. I would ask you about your entire life, what made you happiest and what upset you the most. What was your childhood like and what was your best memory from it? What is your favorite memory of me? I would ask you to show me how to cook your famous recipes and how to fix things like only you know how. I would laugh at every single story you told and would memorize them word for word. I wish for that day every moment I think of you. We would have so much fun, because we would be together again.

While I want to be selfish and wish that day just for me, I also wish it for my family. We really miss you. It wasn't easy for us to let you go and in someways we still haven't. Your birthday is always remembered, your favorite holidays are still the best and your favorite places are sacred to us. I wish we could all be together as a family with you, laughing and smiling. I promise you that any one of us would say it was the best day ever.

I know I won't have that day here on Earth, but I will still wish for it every single day I am without you. The more you are gone, the less my memories are clear. What did you say to me last? Did I tell you I loved you when we last saw each other? These questions will always haunt me. I just wish you were here to see all I have accomplished. I wish you were here to see the great things our family members have done. You would be so proud, I just know it.

I wish you could be here for my college graduation, my wedding day and the day my children are born.

I know that these wishes won't come true, still I am thankful for all the memories I do have with you. Though they may be fuzzy and old, they are some of my most treasured memories. You were one of the best people I have ever known.

So yes, I miss you. I want you back here. I am envious of all the people in Heaven who receive your company. Although you should be down here with me, I know you are having the best time up there. I thank God that I have such a beautiful guardian angel looking over me.

Until we meet again,

I love you and I will keep making you proud.

To Granny Imogene, Pawpaw H.L., Pawpaw Luke and all of my other family members who have passed before I could make memories with them. I love you.