To The Man I Thought I Was Going To Marry,
As I approach the date marking the end of what used to be, it's a little bizarre to think that I was supposed to be among one of the people on Facebook who are getting ready to commit themselves to someone else for the rest of their life. It's absolutely weird that my life is nothing like I had it planned out to be a year ago, and the most important person in my life, is only but a memory now.
My best friends question why I don't absolutely loathe your entire existence, or follow the norm of never speaking of exes, but truthfully, I have no reason to. Despite the negative aspects and undoing of our relationship, for a long, long time, you were my person.
To put it in simple terms, I could not be more grateful for you. I will never be able to thank you enough for all that you did during our relationship. Without a doubt, having you in my life was an essential experience and one I'll never forget. As cliche as it may be, you taught me more about life and myself than anyone else ever has.
You pushed me to be more open minded, flexible, positive and overall, better human being.
You encouraged me to pursue every opportunity I encountered.
You stood by my side through some of the hardest parts of my life, even when you were fighting your own demons.
You were my favorite adventure buddy who always said yes to every wild(bad) idea I had.
You taught my to see everything as an opportunity and blessing in disguise.
You were personal chef, who woke up early to make sure I would eat because you knew I would forget in my busy schedule.
You were family that my parents welcomed and enjoyed having around.
You were proof that it was okay to completely open up and let someone know the ugliest parts of you.
You were my extra set of hands whenever I needed help with a school project or a club event.
You were the one thing that could take any experience, and make it a million times better.
But above all, you were the dream best friend who was fun, kind, patient, loving, and more giving than a person deserves.
However, looking back now, it's easy to see how extremely polarized our goals and desires were. The lifestyle that we wanted for ourselves, the way we imagined our future, what we wanted from our significant other, all of it was mismatched puzzle pieces that we kept forcing to fit together. At some point, we realized that the love we shared was not healthy and not meant to be. It was possessive, mistrusting, toxic even, and although we loved each other deeply, we were completely destroying one another. I know there's a lot that even a genuine apology can't fix, but hopefully we can both learn from our mistakes.
Even after you stopped being apart of my life, you kept teaching me things. I learned how to be my own person again, how to love myself, how to trust in the future, how my potential wasn't over just because we were, but most importantly, you showed me that nothing is forever. It's unfortunate that things didn't work out the way we wanted them to, but I find comfort in knowing that you will find someone who will love you more than I ever could and bring you absolute happiness. I hope they appreciate all of your goofy karaoke sessions and make you feel lucky every single day. Even though we no longer talk, I'm happy that we kept our ultimate promise as best friends: to do what's best for each other. At the end of the day, that promise meant letting go and allowing each other to find our true soulmates.
Regardless of where ever life takes you and who you end up spending the rest of your life with, I will always be cheering you on from a distance and wishing you the absolute best.
