I find myself talking about you a lot more than usual lately. Comparing you to others who give me the same happiness or laughter. But it's never the same. The number of actions and cherished words we kept between us is unbearable. Even today I'm still in shock that you are no longer here. This all may sound cliche or heard of before, but to me it's all new and I'm still learning to deal with it. As well as anyone who misses that person or persons who you never expected to leave as soon as they did.

Here's our story.

My grandmother (okay well the word grandmother is an understatement) was someone who took the name "grandmother" threw it on the ground, stepped on it, and would proudly say "I'm too young to be called a grandmother." Hence, the reason we graced her with the title of "Mama."

She gave life to the name and showed us how to live large despite our youth. From the first moments to the last moments we shared together, it was always a journey. From going on wild excursions to all different islands to eating Mike and Ike's in the back of her huge Escalade watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" on the car television.

And let me tell you, she was not a shy person. We couldn't go anywhere without her leaving with at least two new life-long friends. At times we would be like, do you really have to talk to so-and-so, or do you really have to ask what their dogs names are. But as I got older I appreciated her ability to be so incredibly outgoing. Even with her outgoing nature she was the boldest, yet gentlest person who would give you the shirt off her back.

I mean I can honestly keep going on about how she was because simply I miss her too much to not talk about her. And this is where the tears might start coming down but its okay because locked in my head is her voice still saying "Love you, love bug.”

To be honest, the biggest shock in my life to this day is the day I found I could no longer speak to her again. I never would have thought the most liveliest person would be gone in an instant. When she passed I never felt more lost in my life. Sad to say, losing her made me realize how much I am a part of her. I didn't know how to cope just like most people who lose something so precious.

But after some time passed it hit me that she would never want to see me this way. I didn't even want to see myself this way anymore. I started doing more with my life, taking chances and doing things that I knew she would have been giving me two thumbs-up for. I eventually got that missing piece of me back and I decided not to waste it.

Because in the end I realized I am too much like my mama to not take every opportunity life has to throw at you. She is and was a beautiful inspiration who touched so many people throughout her life. I love you mama.