It may seem a little silly writing a letter to someone who isn't physically on the Earth, but I know as I'm writing this, my mom is looking down on me trying to figure out what exactly it is I'm going to say. So here it goes: this letter goes out to all the moms who had to leave their loved ones behind; husbands, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, even their own parents and yes, their children. Losing a parent is hard and when I was 10, my world came crashing down. Even to this day, it is hard to forget what that felt like.
Dear Mom,
I know you are there. Always watching me, always supporting me, always making sure I am doing the right thing even when I know I'm not. In my times of sadness, you are there wiping away my tears and in my times of joy, you are there celebrating with me. When I am scared, you are there with open arms telling me everything is going to be okay, and you know what? Everything is. Not only are you there for me but you are also with my other siblings, watching them grow into themselves and guiding them along the way. I know you are watching over my aunt and uncle, thanking them every day for taking care of such a sassy, attitude-filled daughter of yours. We all know you are there.
It doesn't get easier, we just learn to move on. At the age of 10, we missed out on a lot of mother-daughter moments. I had to learn how to live in the same house without you, see the same people without you there, go to the same school knowing you wouldn't be there when I got home, and just do basic day to day activities without your help. At the age of 19, I've learned, and with the help of our amazing family, we got through it together. It definitely wasn't easy at first and it still gets hard, but I know I'm not alone.
We cherish the moments. All the Christmases, Easters, birthdays and anniversaries are still celebrated and instead of dwelling on the sad fact that you are no longer with us, we cherish the times you were and remind each other how special you made every holiday. Christmas was never Christmas without the house decked out, Easter was never Easter without our goodie-filled baskets and 4th of July was never 4th of July until you dressed us up head-to-toe in red, white and blue. Looking back at pictures, we were pretty embarrassed (sorry we never told you lol).
You left a mark on this Earth. Not only to your friends and family, but to people all around you. I may have been 10 when you passed, but I still have middle-school friends who remember you throwing an awesome "High School Musical" themed party for my birthday, I still have girls that I danced with remembering you doing our make-up for competition, and even after I moved to the place you grew up, I have adults telling me how wonderful of a person you were when they knew you. It's crazy to think how small the world is, to have people I've only known for a couple weeks come up to me and say "I knew your mom!" is one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.
You are gone but surely never forgotten. I am so grateful I got a chance to be your daughter. You raised me to know the difference between good and bad, right and wrong. You taught me how to stay strong because you were one of the strongest people I have ever had the chance of knowing. You never let me or anyone forget how much you loved them and how much they meant to you and that taught me how to do the same. I may have done things you are not proud of, but without you here I am still trying to figure out who it is I exactly am. I am hoping you understand that I will and currently am learning from my mistakes. You raised me to not be perfect, but to be who I want to be. Thank you Mom.
P.S. I hope you and Danielle's mom have a blast watching over the both of us. God only knows the trouble we might get into this semester... :D
Love,
Your daughter
