“Aren’t you so excited for college?”
“Yeah, of course!” I’d fake a smile back, my heart thudding painfully inside as I internally screamed, “No. No, I am not!”
I remember how all my friends would talk about how they couldn’t wait to leave for college; how they couldn’t wait to be on their own and experience new things.
I, however, could not relate.
Don’t get me wrong – a lot of high school was awful. I definitely was not the senior who just didn’t want to leave my “golden years” of high school in the past. But I did know that going to college meant parting ways with almost all of my friends as they would go to universities in states all across the country. I knew that it would be months before I saw most of them again. I'm also very close with my family. Being four hours away from them sounded absolutely terrifying, and I didn’t want to deal with the real life, grown-up issues that I knew college would face me with (i.e. buying my own toilet paper. That stuff doesn’t just show up in your bathroom, you know). I’d heard all the horror stories about how, in college, none of your professors cared about you and the classes were hard and you’d basically be left alone to drown.
Needless to say, none of that sounded like any fun to me.
However, try as I did to slow down the summer after my senior year, the end of July and the beginning of August approached rapidly. Before I knew it, I was cramming everything I owned into my car and thinking, “Is this real? How can this be real?” My sweet parents helped me set up my dorm, tears (more than I care to admit) were shed and soon my parents were driving away, leaving me four hours from home to live in an unfamiliar place for the next four years.
I was scared out of my mind.
The freshmen orientation activities started and I remember feeling absolutely overwhelmed as I was spun in a whirlwind of strange faces whose names I was supposed to remember. After a few days of trying to set my feet on the ground, classes began.
I remember walking into my very first college class, my stomach tied in tighter knots than my tennis shoes. I took my seat, the professor walked in and smiled at us, and then he began his welcome. Something really strange happened in that moment. Suddenly, the feelings of fear and anxiety that had crippled me for so long began to slip away. My professor had our whole class laughing as he advised us on what we do and do not need to keep in our dorm rooms. His genuine care for us students amazed me; it was not at all what I expected!
In fact, almost none of what I expected about college was true (except for the buying my own toilet paper part, unfortunately). My professors were all personable and thoughtful, and I was blown away by how much they cared about seeing us succeed in and out of their classrooms. The classes, though more difficult than high school, were not impossible, and all the professors made it clear that they wanted us to ask for help if we ever felt like we were struggling.
As far as the other students, I was pleasantly surprised to find that most of the other freshmen felt just as lost as I did. Very quickly, I met more people I felt connected with than I’d ever met in my life. I was four hours from home, but before I even realized it was happening, I soon felt that my university was my home as well.
Incoming freshmen: I know what it’s like to feel afraid for what your future at college will bring. But I also know that great things are waiting for you, just as they were waiting for me. Be bold in who you are – friends will find you and love you for it. Connect with your professors, because they really want to pour into you. And above all, treasure the little moments that life is going to bring you – like getting pizza and frozen yogurt at two in the morning the day before a big test. College is hard. It’s the pull-your-hair-out-I-want-to-quit-most-of-the-time kind of hard. But it’s also one of the most exciting, fresh, and growth filled experiences of your life.
Take it all in, sit back, and enjoy the ride.
