I know it isn't easy. I know that it seems like everywhere you look, there's a girl with a better body, better hair, better clothes, better skin, better grades, better everything. I know how discouraging it can be to look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you don't look like all the models in magazines, or realize that there's something odd or quirky about you that makes you self-conscious. Believe me, I know. It's hard to like yourself, let alone love yourself, when everybody else around you seems to have it more together. It's hard to love yourself when you don't feel like you measure up.
But I've got something to tell you.
Believe it or not, you're perfect. You were made exactly as you were intended to be. Now, this doesn't mean you aren't flawed. Everybody has things that they need to work on. But I can promise you that absolutely nothing about who you are is a mistake. Your design, no matter who you are or how you look, is beautiful. Every bump, lump, hair, curve, freckle, mole, stretch mark, wrinkle, and pockmark on your body is absolutely perfect.
Don't be fooled by airbrushed supermodels or heavily-filtered Instagram posts. Everybody has little imperfections that make them, ironically, perfect. And honestly, everyone is insecure about their imperfections to a degree. Even the girl you know with the fit body and the silky, flowing hair and the perfect bone structure has something that she's self-conscious about. That's a guarantee.
You may also feel like you don't measure up in ways that aren't physical. You may be hard on yourself about low grades you receive, squabbles you and your boyfriend have, or an instance in which you felt annoying or bothersome. You may be hard on yourself for mistakes you've made in the past, the way that you treat your friends or family members, or even a mental health issue such as depression or anxiety. I promise you, all of these things are okay. Everybody makes mistakes.
As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out." Mistakes are inevitable. The only way to live a perfect, mistake-free life is to sit in a dark room by yourself and never interact with anybody or anything. Could you imagine how miserable that would be?
Life is colorful and beautiful because the mistakes we make starkly contrast our successes and our happy moments. It may seem crushing when you fail at something, but simply not risking failure and giving up any chance of joy from succeeding would make for a pretty depressing life. I know how hard it is to embrace your flaws and your shortcomings, but it is absolutely crucial to do so in order to be confident enough to venture out into the world and live a fulfilling life.
Some people may point out your flaws, as if flaws are something to be ridiculed, as if they don't have any flaws themselves. That's okay. In my experience, people who make a habit of picking on the imperfections of others are very insecure themselves. Don't mind these people. The things they are saying to you are less about you and your flaws, and more about them and their own.
The biggest thing about self-love is that it only needs to come from yourself. You don't need your family members fawning over how grown-up you've become for you to be allowed to feel grown-up. You don't need your friends telling you how amazing you are for you to be allowed to feel amazing. And you certainly don't need any guy telling you that you're beautiful for you to be allowed to feel beautiful. As much as you may feel like you need validation from others, you don't need anybody's approval or permission to feel good about yourself. You don't need anyone to tell you you're allowed to love yourself. You can just do it.
All of that being said, loving yourself doesn't mean that you should just ignore all of the areas in which you need to improve. You can still love yourself and put forth the effort to make better grades, improve your relationships, and just work on yourself as a person in general. Loving yourself isn't about ignoring your shortcomings and being complacent. Loving yourself is about being kind and patient with yourself, and being invested enough in yourself to make improvements where you need to.
All I'm saying is that whether you're in cute workout clothes at the gym working hard to get toned, or curled up on the couch in your favorite pajamas watching Netflix, you're beautiful. Whether you're at the library studying hard for your finals, or taking a much-needed break from classes at a party with your friends, you're beautiful. You are absolutely beautiful, no matter what, and it's time you start believing it.
