Let me start this off by saying you are worth loving. When I say you are worth loving, not only do I mean by other people but also by yourself, in all aspects. Men and women have these high expectations placed upon them thanks to the media. If you’re not as skinny as a Victoria’s Secret Angel or as cut as an Armani model, then are you really even anyone? I’m here to say yes. In fact, you are just as good, if not better.

I was a fat kid. There, I said it. Since those chunky days I’ve become incredibly active and created a pretty healthy lifestyle for myself, but I still look at myself in the mirror as critically now as I did then. No matter how much I work out or how well I eat, I still see myself as a fat kid. While I may not be the person I used to be there is still something inside that tells me to be better, and while to an extent that may be healthy, there is also a voice saying I’m not good enough. This is a battle that I know I’m not alone on, and it’s also a battle I’m learning how to overcome. Learning to love yourself is a journey, and there are several small changes you can make to help you reach your destination.

1. Finding fulfillment in oneself.

The most important thing I have learned so far is this:

You can not find self-fulfillment in others.

It is unbelievable how often we (men and women) go the extra mile for someone and are left disappointed. It’s almost as if someone else doesn’t tell you that you look good, then there is no way that it can be true. When did we begin relying so heavily upon others to remind us that we are beautiful? Listening to yourself when you say that you are wonderful is the hardest thing to do sometimes, but the ounce of confidence can go a long way.

Body shaming is a huge road block to loving yourself. It’s like a snowball effect--you can glance at a window or a mirror to check your hair and immediately start to single out everything that is wrong with you. This doesn’t just apply to women either, men can be just as critical of themselves as women. The next time you take a glance at your reflection, pick one thing that you love about yourself. Pick one thing that you love, and then walk away before your mind can wonder to anything negative. People need to realize that the so-called normalcy that the media has created for body image is false. Yes, we could stand to lose a few pounds here and there or eat a little healthier, but the idea of perfection has been created by someone other than us, and it needs to be redefined.

We all have this idea of perfection in our minds that we are constantly trying to achieve. It’s time to call bullshit on false realities that we have set for ourselves and do what we were meant to do all along--be comfortable in our own skin.

Learning to love yourself isn’t a one step process.

It takes time, but most importantly it takes positivity. Make small changes that will lead you toward a better you, whether that’s living a more active life or just looking at yourself with confidence. The only thing you have to remember is that you are worth loving, both mentally and physically. The only obstacle you have to overcome is yourself.