To The Girl Who Is Afraid To Be Alone

To the girl who’s afraid to be alone,

You’re in luck because guess what?! You’re not alone. Ironic, isn't it? Physically, yes, you may technically be alone - but I promise you - you’re not the only one who feels this way. As a girl who was, and definitely still is at times, afraid to be alone, I’m here to help you make the most of your seemingly lonesome days.

I was always the girl who had someone. Whether I was dating, talking to, or just simply friends with someone, I needed and craved attention about my life choices and experiences. I wanted someone there to share life experiences with me, to be my go-to when I needed emotional support, to gain instant advice and admiration from. When all of this was suddenly gone in my life at the age of about 21, I had a slight mental breakdown. My friends were moving on to their destined career paths and I had just ended a two-year relationship. What was I going to do now?

Instinctively, I started wasting my time looking for that special someone... Someone to feel the same emotions I was, to live my life with me. Every single event I attended, I became obsessed with capturing the right angle for social media in order for people to experience my day with me. I texted my way through movies, game nights, and sporting events. There was an intense need for someone else to be sharing these moments with me. Each time I forced these moments to be shared, or became incredibly sad with the realization that there wasn’t someone to share the days with, I felt a wave of disappointment rush over my entire body.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was so enthralled with portraying my life as interesting and fun to others in order to feel as though I wasn’t alone, that I completely missed out on experiencing life to its fullest. Yes, that’s totally cliche- but it’s totally the truth.

So, two years later, here I am at 23. Still alone, yet somewhat satisfied with my single state. Did you just gasp? I know - I did too, but it’s the truth! 23 years and I have finally decided to start enjoying life’s moments for myself.

Instead of moping around that I don’t have someone to take me to dinner, I throw on my best dress and take myself on dates. Believe me when I say I’m having a blast exploring new restaurants and sipping on newly found wines. Trips to Barnes and Noble to pick out the latest romance novel, followed by hours curled up in the corner flipping the pages of that book have become my weekly safe haven. Taking long runs with country music blasting in my ears has become my outlet. Breathing in and taking in my surroundings at every event or function I attend has opened my heart to a place of content it hasn’t been before. I am finding out who I truly am by paying attention to my own likes and dislikes.

And do you want to know the best part?! I rarely disappoint myself! Putting your happiness into your own hands is LIFE-CHANGING, friends.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say, my fellow lonely girl, is that you can learn so much about yourself when you finally stop depending on others. Focus on activities that release your emotions and make you feel good inside. Drink three cups of coffee in the morning, watch that Nicholas Sparks film for the sixth time this week, take a trip to the nearest pet store and pet those golden puppies. Take in your surroundings - live your life as a single girl, and the right one will eventually come along side of you to experience these joys as well.

You don’t need someone to experience life with, you need to just experience life.