“When you look at the past without God’s eyes, you subject yourself to deception. The past no longer exists and God doesn’t linger there. However, Satan will show you whatever you want to see and believe, so you will be trapped in an emotion that cannot communicate truth, beyond what you want to remember.” –Shannon L. Alder

Trust issues. If you have them, you know how that phrase makes you feel. Makes you cringe a little bit. It’s become such a cliché term. Its implication and meaning have been cheapened. And a lot of people just really don’t seem to understand. It is a prison, often with no way out it seems. If you have trouble trusting people, letting people in… I get that. You didn’t choose that. You didn’t want it to have to be that way. At one time, actually, you were probably very trusting of people. Maybe you realize now you were too trusting, and your “trust issues” have become your first mechanism and defense for a heart that has been deeply hurt and may still be deeply hurting. Somebody you trusted with your whole heart, somebody who should have been there for you, let you down and you aren’t the type to forget things like that. Maybe you care too much. Maybe other people don’t care enough. Maybe you should be more like them, you think to yourself.

I’m here to tell you that this mental conversation needs to end right there. “Trust issues” is a very defining set of words, but it does not define YOU. It describes things in your past that you probably want to forget because bridges were burned, damage was done, and you feel that you are a changed person with no hope of ever fully healing and being able to go back to the version of yourself that you liked much better before all of this transpired. I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. But please don’t harden your heart to the rest of the world because of the actions of a few. There are good people out there. I believe that with my whole heart. I know many of them. And I’ve made enough mistakes to know that shutting off the world does far, far more damage than healing. Because you will never control the damage those around you may do, but you will always control the damage you do to yourself.

The fact is that we as human beings were made for fellowship, and I believe that we were created by God to devote ourselves to investing in others, even on the risk of getting hurt, betrayed, let down, etc… And I am not going to lie to you. It is not going to be easy to invest in others the way you should. It will be a daily battle of the fear of reliving feelings of the past… feelings of anger, hurt, and resentment. But shutting down will emotionally and mentally suffocate you until you become a version of yourself you do not like and worse, do not even recognize. By not allowing yourself to love and live the way you were created to do, you have just given everyone who has ever hurt or betrayed you total power over yourself, your future, and your happiness. They do not deserve that. You deserve to heal. You cannot heal if you don’t open up your heart again. Those people were selfish. We have enough selfish people in the world. Please do not become one of them.

I’m not saying don’t guard your heart. Do not allow people to use or take advantage of you. Respect yourself more than that. But do not let your “trust issues” define who you are. Let your actions define who you are. God can make beautiful vessels out of the most broken people. Let him show you who you have the potential to become. When your focus is on finding ways to bless other people, regardless of how they respond, you will find a sense of peace and healing you thought was never possible. You will find that disappointment will sometimes be unavoidable, but you will have peace in knowing that God has given you freedom from the chains of fear and uncertainty. Slowly but surely you will allow your positive behavior to take control of your heart and mind, and you will become wiser than your young and innocent self but with a far more open heart than you thought you could ever have again after harboring a heart full of anger and hurt. So stop living in a prison. You have the key, and God has already broken your chains by His grace.