To The Girl He’ll Love After Me,

I want to dislike you. Somewhere deep down, I will, and I apologize in advance for that. I hope it’s understandable. For 10 and a half months, I was the person he loved, I was the one that helped his mood when he was upset. I held him when he cried, smiled at his laugh, and always let him pick the movies we would watch. He didn’t know you then. He didn’t know you existed. But I did. I knew there was someone out there who would, one day, be able to love him better than I did, someone who would be in a better place than I am.

I still remember everything. I remember the way he looked at me after watching me perform in the musical I was in. He couldn’t take his eyes off me. I hope he looks at you that way. I remember holding his hand every time we drove somewhere or walked somewhere. I hope your hands fit together as well as ours did. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. The butterflies in my stomach swallowed me whole because I knew I loved him back. I hope you get that feeling with him. I remember realizing we weren’t going to be together forever. I remember the sound of heartbreak in his voice with every “why” he said to me. I hope you never make him feel the way I did from that day on.

When he’s upset, hold his shaking hands. Look him in the eyes, make him talk to you about what’s going on, and tell him you love him until he knows you mean it. When he’s happy, smiling like you’ve never seen anyone smile, when he’s staring at you because he’s so in love with you, soak it in. I promise it will be the best feeling you have ever known. When his hope seems to be gone, it will be your job to get him back on track. You’ll have to be stern and harsh, but I promise he will thank you later.

In all honesty, sometimes I wish I didn’t still remember every detail, every thing that makes him who he is. But I memorized it all, like a song whose lyrics are forever engraved in your mind. I know you have too. We know his favorite type of sandwich, which he always asks for. We know that Batman is his favorite superhero, no matter how cool the other ones are. We know that his mom and little sister are his world, and he would sacrifice anything for them. We know that sometimes, his anxiety gets the best of him, but that he won’t lose hope because of you. I knew him then, but you will know him from now on, and you will see him in a better place than I did. Cherish that. I have never believed in a love so strongly like I believed in it with him. He was the one. He was my best friend, and my everything. Was. Now, he’s your one, your best friend, your everything. And you are his. Soon, he’ll forget about our love. He won’t remember the sound of my voice, or every freckle on my face. He’ll know yours, and that is what I want.

So if I’m no longer with him, there is a question of why I wrote this. I wrote this so you know that I feel no resentment for you. I’m ultimately thankful for you. Thank you. Thank you for giving him the love I couldn’t, for being there for him when I couldn’t be. He needed someone like you in his life, and I couldn’t be that person for him. Treat him with love and kindness, as that’s all he’ll give to you. Please make him happy. That is all I have ever wanted for him: the most overwhelming happiness he has ever felt.

I hope he never lets you leave. I hope you never want to leave. I hope your love lasts much longer than ours ever could have. And I hope you don’t think I’m the ex-girlfriend that is hateful because I know longer have his heart. I’m just the girl who loved him before you. I miss him sometimes. However, I always knew you were out there, so it comforts me to know he’ll be happy. Thank you for loving him.

Love,

The Girl He Loved Before You