I remember the first day you caught my eye. I was sitting in a raggedy old desk in English class when you walked in. In my junior year of high school, I was mostly concerned with extracurricular activities, college tours and so on. But when I locked eyes with you, I lost complete control of my heart and mind. You had just moved to town about a month ago, so I had never seen you before, but when I saw those gorgeous brown eyes, I wanted to keep seeing you over and over again.
Each day, you would come into class, and we would talk and laugh. Sometimes we would pass notes to each other or draw pictures together. I looked forward to seeing you each day. Soon enough, I began seeing you outside of school, and we became closer than I had ever imagined possible. I never thought that a guy like you would ever look my way, and within three months of knowing you, I fell deeply in love.
I remember our first kiss. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and when I was with you, nothing else seemed to matter. Your presence alone made me the happiest person on earth, and I wanted to continue growing with you. But it didn’t go anywhere. You didn’t want it to.
My world came crashing down around me. Everything that I wanted was no longer in reach because you completely disconnected yourself from me. It became very clear that we were not on the same page. You weren’t the type of guy to commit, and you left me dangling on a string. To you, I was just a place holder until the next girl came along. But I realized this when it was too late.
With you, it felt like a never-ending emotional roller coaster. Your inability to stay consistent made me even more confused and heartbroken. I found myself laying in bed at night with tears rolling down my face wondering what I did wrong. I had nights where I would sob and hold the stuffed animal you bought me a few months before. After all, that was the only thing I really had left to hold onto.
So tell me, If you didn’t plan to stay, why did you pull me in? In the end, the only thing you did was rip me apart. You didn’t even give me a chance, and I don’t understand. I never gave you any reason to walk away from me. I only gave you reasons to stay. But I guess when it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter.
But I hope you had fun passing the time with me. I’m sure you’ll do the same thing with the next girl you meet. I just hope she realizes the kind of person you are before she falls in love with you. Maybe then, you’ll know how it feels to be left behind.
