Warning: This article may be a trigger to addicts, or friends and family of addicts.

You know who you are. And you know what you have done. To your family, your friends, and every single person you have come into contact with. This is not the story of my life, my shitty childhood, this is meant for all the kids out there who can relate to me. Who feel this way but don't know how to tell the Addict In Their Life. This is a letter for you, in hopes that you will realize no one can help you until you admit and truly believe you can help yourself.

To the Addict In My Life,

You spend every day trying to find an excuse to get high. You spend days at a time sleeping because you are depressed and alone. You use this as an excuse to get high and call that homeless person you met on the street to take part in it. You blame these people once you get caught for your addiction and weight loss. You show everyone your stomach proud, not ashamed of your 105 pound weight. Little do you know, we are well aware it's because of your heroin use.

In 2017, in Fall River Massachusetts, 914 people had overdosed according to "The Herald News". Just 17 fewer than 2016. But each and every 365 days of both those years I knew that I could have lost you to an overdose. 365 days I wondered if you would just be another statistic in the newspaper at the end of the year. All those people you call to get you high, they wouldn't show up for your services. They don't give a shit about you. They don't want to take care of your house while you are away, they want to use your house to stash their evidence and get high, then take all of your stuff before you make it home. That is... if you make it home.

Do you even have a home? Do you have a safe place to go at night, or just a cave where all your blankets have burnt holes and needles that are routine? You are oblivious to the world around you. You can barely remember the date and you can't even remember what grade I am in. You don't understand how much your family hurts each and every day watching you go through this. Shit, you don't even care, that's how oblivious you are. You don't understand how your constant addiction will affect us all once it takes your life and you become another Fall River statistic.

I do not want to get wrapped up in your web of lies and see you because I am scared you will just convince me to give you $20 for "bread and milk" even though we just sent you home with leftovers for the week. You still think I am that naive 12-year-old because ever since then you have been completely and utterly absent and wrapped up in your depression and addiction. You only call when you are clean, and by that time, I haven't talked to you in five months, so how do you expect me to answer the phone? But I do every time as hard as it is for me.

You haven't been the only addict in my life, you have just been the one to cause me the most pain and anger in my life. You were the one to show me my first bong, pipe, and roach when I was 8-years-old because I refused to leave the room and just wanted you to spend some time with me. I shouldn't have been learning about that stuff until now. I shouldn't have had to explain to my friend's parents why you were "hiding and locked yourself in the closet" or why we didn't have any furniture in our house. I shouldn't have had to call for help that day you fell off the toilet and I thought I had lost you forever. I shouldn't have had to jump over you ex-husband to get out of bed because he had passed out on my bedroom floor looking for god knows what, high out of his f*cking mind. No child should have to witness any of this.

I hope that you get help because you deserve it. I hope that you get your medication straight once and for all so you can attend family functions, be a part of my kids' lives in the future, spend nights with me without hiding in your room. I, as much as you, deserve all of these things. You deserve a safe home to call your own so I can visit and we can play games and cook like the old days. You CAN say no to that first hit again, and I pray to god every day that you will overcome the temptation of all drugs in order to live a normal life again.

To all the children out there who can relate to this, you are not alone. You can decide to separate yourself from this situation or help that person in your life. Writing is my gateway and I found it the easiest way to communicate with anyone in my life that has a hard time listening and understanding me. Find what is comfortable and use that to try and end an addiction, the depression, even the anxiety that is stopping you from receiving the love you deserve from a family member.

If you or someone you love has a drug addiction, please visit https://drugabuse.com/library/drug-abuse-hotlines/.