When I moved to college, I heard probably a hundred different variations of "The person you'll spend your life with is probably on the same campus as you!" As a freshman, that sounded pretty cool; meeting the love of your life at 18, spending four years in college together, and then moving on with degrees and getting awesome jobs together. In theory, it is great and what everybody wants. But I am a very single (and very happy) junior in college.

Now, let me assure you, that I have most definitely fallen into 'the rut.' People around me are in and out of relationships, or have had one for years, and I've definitely been one of two or the only single one in a group before. I've gotten nervous that I'll never find anyone and that I should have found them by now. I've felt all of those things.

But throughout the past few months, I have truly seen the beauty of being able to focus on me and what I want for my life.

There's less distraction.
College is full of groups, events, and things to do. It's easy enough to be distracted from what you're here to do - school - and being emotionally responsible for another person is just not something that a lot of college students are cut out for. I know I'm not. I am able to choose as many organizations, trips, and things I want to do because I am in it for myself and a huge amount of time that I would be dedicating to a significant other is directed in things to progress socially and academically. You should always be able to keep your grades and social circles up and progressing. One person is not a social life. (Of course I don't believe that everybody in a relationship isolates themselves) but some people just have a hard time managing the time between the alone-time necessary for a relationship as well as friend/group settings. If you're that person, that's okay! Just focus on spending time with new people and making new friends a while.

I can go anywhere after college.
As it stands right now, I have nothing and nobody tying me to where I am right now. If I wanted to travel internationally or pack up and move to the opposite coast, I could. If I were dating someone, at least a fraction of that decision would be considering the person I was with and what that means for them. It's so important to find out what you love to do and let it take you wherever you want to go and I know that it would be hard, but you should never allow a guy to keep you from pursuing that - wherever it may be. There's billions of other guys in the world so there's no reason that one from your home or college town should keep you from seeing the world.

Changing is inevitable.
I have been in college for less than three years and I am dramatically different than I was when I graduated from high school. My views on pretty much everything have changed: religion, politics, social issues, and even just general desires and plans for my life. The type of man that I am attracted to now is far different than the type I was interested in freshman year. I can't help but wonder if I had started dating then, if we could have grown and changed together (which I'm sure a lot of couples do successfully) or if we would have grown separately. Always remember that your personal growth is so important. You have to reach your full potential before you can share it with another person. If you happen to enter a relationship in college, never forget how to prosper on your own.

I admire couples in college who have been able to manage their time and come together to learn, grow, and love together. But I also admire all of the college students who have been the odd-man (or woman)-out and given themselves the attention they need during these crucial four years. I have enjoyed, so much, learning what it means to be independent - from family and hometown baggage - and have really utilized my time here and I hope that you do the same. The love of your life may live down the hall or across campus but don't rush finding them. Make sure that you are everything you want to be and able to give to them what they deserve, and what you want them to be able to give to you. You're still figuring it out, and so is whoever you're meant to be with. Believe me, you'll both want to be ready.

So for every student who's gone home to the "You gotta boyfriend/girlfriend?" question at Christmas, be proud to say no next time and show them everything that YOU have become since your adulthood began, and that another person isn't always needed right away.

And when that person does show up keep doing all of the growing, loving, learning, and traveling - just together.