Hey, Gma:
I miss you. I miss your beautiful smile. I miss coming home to you and you asking me how my day was at school. I miss everything about you and your ways. No matter how hard I try there will always be an empty void in my life that will never be replaced because of you.
I can't believe you're really gone. Some days it doesn't seem real. Most days, I honestly forget that you're gone - when I come home I expect to walk right through the door and for you be there watching tv or talking on the telephone. Throughout the last year of you being gone, the thought of you has made me laugh, smile, cry, angry, but most of all depressed. I never thought I could live without you but somehow over the course of the year, I've managed to. Some days were hard, other days were harder. There was never and will never be an easy day with you gone. You were more than just a grandmother to me. You were my alarm clock, weather reporter, chief, teacher, go to person for the best advice, and my second mother(you pretty much were my mother). You were everything. Aside to all of those things, most importantly you were my very best friend. You were my person who never left my side until it was no longer your choice. I know even then you were not ready to leave me. You wanted so to see me graduate high school and walk across that stage to get my diploma. You may not have been there physically but you walked along side me every step of the way.
On most days, you're my motivation to keep going and to be the best at everything I do. Knowing how strong of a woman you were. You tackled so many obstacles in life. Some days I don't see how you did it and managed to take care of me by yourself. You always let me get by with almost anything(your daughters always hated it, especially the baby one). We did everything together. I don't know what I miss most. The crazy pictures we always took together, the afternoon strolls around the block, the trips to town on Fridays, the Columbia trips on Wednesdays, you actually letting me skip school even if I wasn't sick just so I got to stay home with you because you would miss me too much (mom found out I stayed home anyways). You loved when I had days off and hated when it was time for school to start back. Actually, I think the one thing I miss most is the heart to heart talks with you in the living room while watching lifetime movies. You always knew everything. Everything. You spotted the bad friends and boyfriends before I did (everything you told me about that one was all true, you were so right. I'm sorry I never listened). You knew instantly when I had a bad day at school as soon as I came through the door, even when I tried to put a fake smile on and not let you know. You knew when I was down or depressed, even when I tried so hard to hide it from you. I didn't want you to know I was hurting. I'm sorry for every wrong thing I did to you. I know I back-talked you a lot and had a horrible attitude. We argued a lot but always made amends before we went to bed. No matter the harsh words we said to one another we knew at the end of the day we still loved each other.
I hope I am making you proud. I know I've done some things that wouldn't make you proud. But when I get to where I wanna be I hope I do. I do everything for you. I wish you were still here to push me. I no longer have that person in my life to actually be like you were and push me to be the very best that I can be. I want to finally say thank you. I know I never told you enough. I am so thankful and grateful for everything you did for me. I love you and miss you unconditionally.
Love always,
Your babygirl
P.S. I hope heaven is everything you imagined it would be.
