Embracing the struggle is emotional and physically draining but embracing it with someone else makes it worth while. You get to grow up and start a life together which is wonderful since someone gets to be by your side through better and worse. You have someone to share goals with but at the same time you can each have individual goals and push each other along to help them reach their true potential. However, living with the bare minimum and spending minimal time together due to school and work can be hard on young couples. It takes a truly strong duo to make it through but you always have to think about the outcome. Here are some secrets of my relationship that I would love to share with you:
1. Struggling by making it pay check to pay check is not fun, I get that. Know that one day you will miss this time period of life. Similar to high school, you hated it at the time but now you oddly miss it! When you two finally get to where you want to be hopefully you will still have the best person you know by your side ready for the next adventure! My boyfriend and I take on life by attempting to reach new goals. I know it sounds different but our first goals was to get through long distance then be living in the same town. We accomplished one mile stone and now we are working on our goal of finishing college. We look at each other as companions; as long as we have each other the rest shall will pass.
2. It's easy to get into a routine when you two are always on the go but always remember to say "good morning", "good night", and "I love you"! Remind each other how much of a blessing it is to still have one another! Let you significant other know that no matter how hectic this crazy life can get you will still be thinking about them and they are still number one.
3. Ask your significant other how he/she is feeling or how things are going! Make sure you communicate your feelings to them and let them vent to you. Communication is key when you are both filled up with anxiety to your neck. My boyfriend doubles as a best friend so he sure gets an ear full of complaints about my present anxieties!
4. Which leads me to my next secret: do your best to not take anger out on each other! There are days that I am a ticking time bomb just waiting for someone to set me off. Sometimes when I get in these over whelmed moods I have to walk away and see if I am still feeling as upset five minutes later then decide if it is worth picking a fight over. Nine times out of ten it is not a big deal and I am just stressed out. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may also be feeling just as stressed out at the moment as you are so you have to remind yourself that they have feelings as well and you can not expect them to be perfect.
5. Understand that you have the rest of your life to be married! Major props to those that do it but for the majority just take it day by day. There is no rush when you have forever together! Enough said.
6. Also make sure not to over extend your time with your significant other that you forget about the rest of the world. Trust me, there are plenty of times that I am guilty of hanging out with my boyfriend rather than my friends. We barely see each other through the week since he doesn't get off until two in the morning some nights and works weekend so when we do get the chance to see each other I want to take up all his time! However, I know that I cannot do this. It's an easy trap but sometimes too much time together can mean trouble!
7. Do small surprises here and there to remind he/she how important they are and always will be to you. Make their favorite dessert or write a note! You would be surprised how much it will mean to them to know they are always on your busy mind. Some examples:
8. Ultimately, work hard now so you two can play later. Also know this will all pay off in the end and think of the perfect picture daily. There is no other way to say you just have to tough it out together for now. I can not tell you how many times my boyfriend and I talk about the day we can go get McDonald's breakfast and read the newspaper. Maybe we both enjoy the simple pleasures in life but we still aim for our goals together and joke about the much needed days of ease.
With that being said, I am far from an "expert" on relationships and there are a few things I could fix in my own relationship. These are just some secrets of my relationship that keep us running so strong. Some secrets are worth sharing and never get old. I wish the best for you in your relationship and always remember: never throw a good thing away just because times are tough.