These past few days I can truly say that they've been hell. I know that may sound a little bit dramatic, but it's my truth. Seeing the person you've grown up with sick and weak is absolutely horrible. This goes to my big sister Jannin -- I love you and I know that you're going to get through this moment in time. Like my dad always says, "You're a Cruz and we never give up!"
On Tuesday morning at 6 a.m., honestly I didn't know what to do. Waking up to your scream of help and no control of your body just frightened me, and that made me feel useless to you. I thought for a split second that I was going to lose you and even though I didn't show any sign of fear throughout this entire experience, I was scared. Taking you to the clinic and after receiving medicine, I felt as if you were finally going to be okay, but boy was I wrong. I was wrong because hours later you had to be rushed into the emergency room, and you still fainted in front of the building.
Days passed and I tried to fool myself into thinking that you were feeling better. Trying to believe that finally everything was going to be okay, but it wasn't. All it took was the tears falling from your eyes, because even though you never said it at the hospital, you were screaming for help. Yet I couldn't do anything, but watch.
Honestly, through the entire thing, I was completely useless because I couldn't do anything to help you, and what hurts me the most is that you're still stuck in that hospital. I could have done more.
One thing was worth it though. The fact that so many people came to see you and so many people were praying for you whether you knew it or not, gave me hope that you were going to be okay. Now, at this time, you're finally sleeping and hopefully with a smile on your face, because that's all I want.
I love you with all my heart and I don't know what I'd do without you. You've helped me so much and yet I could do nothing useful for you. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met and I know this because I've seen you overcome so many obstacles, more than anyone should ever have to face. Stay strong Jannin and remember, I love you more than anything in this world and that's the truth, always.
