To My Best Friend's Girlfriend

To My Best Friend's Girlfriend

There's no point in being sorry anymore.
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I've contemplated writing this for a few weeks because I don't want to sound immature or angry because that is not the type of person that I am. However, growing up with a best friend like your boyfriend has been one of the greatest experiences that I have ever had. No, I'm not jealous or hurt that he chose to date you. I'm hurt because he chose you over our entire friendship.

Throughout the eight years that we have been friends we have had our own set of arguments, verbal fights, and fist fights. He knew how to calm me down when I thought I was going to explode. He taught me to see the good in some people, even when I thought it was basically impossible. We were family. But now I can barely say three words to him before I remember that I am nothing in his eyes anymore.

No, I wasn't in love with him. I'm still not in love with him in the same way as you. I loved him in a way that helped me, and him, through the tough battles that we faced. We didn't have to go through them alone because we had each other. We knew everything about each other, which helped when we were upset and honestly couldn't speak to anyone else.

He was there when I went through the worst stage of my life, which included many tears created by a toxic relationship. The first time, he was happy for me. He saw how happy I was in the beginning, but then soon noticed that my mood drastically changed. There were many factors that contributed to him noticing how my feelings changed over the course of a few months.

He supported me through the arguments that I dealt with everyday. He helped me get through everything after being left by someone I thought I was in love with. He was my rock, shoulder to cry on, and therapist.

The second time I decided to make a poor decision regarding a toxic relationship, he threatened to cut me out of his life. I wasn't the most intelligent one back then, so I didn't believe that he would actually follow through with his decision. However, I soon learned that he wasn't kidding. I thought I would be okay without him to talk to because I had a boyfriend then, but I was wrong.

I was wrong to decide to choose a boyfriend over my best friend. When I eventually figured out that I needed to leave, he was there for me. He had offered to help me through one of the worst times of my life, and I'll always be grateful for the late night phone calls, long text messages, and the pizza/ ice-cream nights that we had after my break-up.

After the break-up, I realized just how much we had been through together. Looking back at everything, I see why it is so difficult to move on through life without my best friend. But, that was the decision he made for you. It's the decision that he'll have to live with.

Am I angry? A little. I'm not angry with you. I mean, you've done nothing wrong. You went to the person you trusted enough to spend your time with. I understand. I'm angry that I have to go see you together everyday, and know that we will never be the friends that we once were.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that he's happy with you and that you're happy with him. The world needs a little more happiness. However, I am a little hurt that he decided that I could no longer be a part of his life because he only had room for you.

But, what is this life without the hurt that comes along with it? I've always though of life as being your own piece of music. The movements that create the mile stones in your life, the different keys to represent the moods you've had through the years, and the many notes that make up every single day that you are alive. Think of a piano, with its black and white keys. The white keys may represent the good, while the black keys represent the bad. But in the end, they all make the music.

And, if losing my best friend to his best friend just means I hit a black key, I'm still grateful for the many white keys he was a part of. But, the song continues with or without him in my life.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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A Senior's Last Week Of High School

The bittersweet end.
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Well, this is it. This is what we've worked so hard the last four years - who am I kidding - basically what seems like our whole lives for. This is the very last week we will set foot as a student in our high school's hallways. As most schools are getting ready to set their seniors free at last, it all begins to set in - the excitement, the anxiousness, and also the sentiment and nostalgia.

For seniors, the years since our first day as a freshman at the bottom of the high school totem pole have seemed endless, but as we look back on these last few weeks, we realize that this year in particular has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was just yesterday that we were sitting in our classrooms for the very first time, going to our 'last first' practice, and getting our first taste of the (very real) "senioritis". With all that's going on in our lives right now, from sports and clubs, finals, and the sought after graduation ceremony, it's hard to really sit down and think about how our lives are all about to become drastically different. For some it's moving out, and for some it's just the thought of not seeing your best friend on the way to fourth period English; either way, the feels are real. We are all in a tug of war with the emotions going on inside of us; everything is changing - we're ready, but we're not.

THE GOOD. Our lives are about to begin! There is a constant whirlwind of excitement. Senior awards, getting out of school early, parties, and of course Graduation. We are about to be thrust into a world of all new things and new people. Calling our own shots and having the freedom we have so desperately desired since the teenage years began is right around the corner. Maybe the best part is being able to use these new things surrounding you to grow and open your mind and even your heart to ideas you never could before. We get the chance to sink or swim, become our own person, and really begin to find ourselves.

Things we don't even know yet are in the works with new people we haven't even met yet. These friendships we find will be the ones to last us a lifetime. The adventures we experience will transform into the advice we tell our own children and will become the old tales we pass down to our grandkids when they come to visit on the weekends. We will probably hate the all night study sessions, the intensity of finals week, and the overpowering stress and panic of school in general, just like we did in high school... But it will all be worth it for the memories we make that will outlive the stress of that paper due in that class you absolutely hate. As we leave high school, remember what all the parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors are telling you - this are the best times of our lives!

THE BAD. The sentimental emotions are setting in. We're crying, siblings are tearing up, and parents are full-out bawling. On that first day, we never expected the school year to speed by the way it did. Suddenly everything is coming to an end. Our favorite teachers aren't going to be down the hall anymore, our best friends probably won't share a class with us, we won't be coming home to eat dinner with our families...

We all said we wanted to get out of this place, we couldn't wait, we were ready to be on our own; we all said we wouldn't be "so emotional" when the time came, but yet here we are, wishing we could play one more football game with our team or taking the time to make sure we remember the class we liked the most or the person that has made us laugh even when we were so stressed we could cry these past few years. Take the time to hug your parents these last few months. Memorize the facial expressions of your little sister or brother. Remember the sound of your dad coming home from work. These little things we take for granted every day will soon just be the things we tell our college roommate when they ask about where we're from. As much as we've wanted to get out of our house and our school, we never thought it would break our heart as much as it did. We are all beginning to realize that everything we have is about to be gone.

Growing up is scary, but it can also be fun. As we take the last few steps in the hallways of our school, take it all in. Remember, it's okay to be happy; it's okay to be totally excited. But also remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be sentimental. It's okay to be scared, too. It's okay to feel all these confusing emotions that we are feeling. The best thing about the bittersweet end to our high school years is that we are finally slowing down our busy lives enough to remember the happy memories.

Try not to get annoyed when your mom starts showing your baby pictures to everyone she sees, or when your dad starts getting aggravated when you talk about moving out and into your new dorm. They're coping with the same emotions we are. Walk through the halls remembering the classes you loved and the classes you hated. Think of the all great times that have happened in our high school years and the friends that have been made that will never be forgotten. We all say we hated school, but we really didn't. Everything is about to change; that's a happy thing, and a sad thing. We all just have to embrace it! We're ready, but we're not...

Cover Image Credit: Facebook

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Summer = Rest?

Sometimes it feels as if we need a vacation... from our vacation.

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Ah summer: Popsicles and sun burns, mixed with fresh-squeezed lemonade that local kids are pandering to make enough money for Roman candles and Black Cats. The crack of the bat can be heard among the simmering charcoal grills and Troy-bilts humming through the ever-lasting sun. School is out and children are wild. It's a paradise.

Or is it?

But after countless sports camps and tournaments, other camps, vacations, school (?) events, traveling teams, VBS, summer seems to have been sucked fun-free.

Maybe it's Hollywood and Harper Lee's fault for giving us this utopian view of what summer should look and feel like (I'm looking at you Sandlot). But how can we really rest this summer? Because everyone needs some actual rest, even adults.

First thing is do NOT pack your summer full. Say no to some things. Coaches and Families can expect too much and it's okay to say no to them. You have to. There is no time for kids to be kids anymore.

Work can take a backseat. Vacations need to be taken. Families need to reconnect.

And for all my super-scheduled people out there, please PLEASE don't schedule out your vacation. Just enjoy it.

Another bit of advice would be to put away the technology and spend some time outside. When was the last time you tried to catch lightning bugs? Or went for a swim? Or listened to birds on your front porch?

I may sound like I have an old soul, but I really feel like we have lost this connection to the outside world. Summer is all about getting a farmer's tan and getting stung once or twice. I can guarantee you that's some of the best therapy in the world.

Maybe this sounds all over the place. Maybe this sounds like me ranting. And it probably is.

But I'm telling you that this stuff matters. Don't let summer whiz by and you arrive in August more drained that you were in May. Enjoy this time with family and friends.

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