I have an anxiety disorder.
I have always been an anxious person, from when I was a toddler to this day. As I grew and changed with age, so did my anxiety. However, telling people I have anxiety has always been something that has filled with some level of shame or embarrassment.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of American, "Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18 percent of the population. "
That, right there, is a lot of people. And, does not even include those struggling with anxiety who are under the age of 18. Despite this large number of the population struggling with not only anxiety, but with various other mental health issues, it is still a topic that has a lot of negative stigma associated with it.
I am not here to educate on anxiety or mental health. I am not here to glorify my mental health struggles, saying that it is something beautiful and that I would never trade for the world. I am not here to ask for pity, or apologies or people to say "Wow, you are so strong!" All I am here to say is that yes, I do have an anxiety disorder that affects many aspects of my life each day. But, my anxiety is only a small part of who I am.
The reality of anxiety, or any mental health issue for that matter, is that it sucks. Anyone struggling with it would say that they would rather not have to deal with this. But, it is what it is. And that is okay, and most importantly, it is okay to not be okay.
Yes, I know my anxiety has helped me become stronger and all of that stuff we see on the typical posts about mental health. But, there also have been many,many other experiences in my life, both positive and negative, that have helped shaped me into the person I am today.
The shame associated with mental health is something that needs to change. And trust me, I never thought I would ever consider writing about my own struggle with this. However, there is no change that can be made if we simply ignore these issues.
I have spent a lot of time working on my own mental health. From medications and doctors to exercise, meditation and music and so much more, I have learned to try to cope. And I can honestly say that recently, I have been thriving.
This does not mean each day is easy. But by no means is everyday supposed to be easy, or perfect. Hard days have just made my incredible days a lot better.
So, my anxiety may be a part of me, but as corny as this is, I know that it is not me. And your disorders or problems that have everything or nothing at all to do with mental health, are not you either. There is so much more to life than focusing on our battles, and while they are important and need to be recognized, we cannot let them define us.
