“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…” -unknown
I've been in two long distance relationships in my life, and they're not fun. Are they worth it? Well, that depends, one of them failed, and the other is going pretty well. Being in a long distance relationship is no easy feat. It sucks. It honestly sucks. And sometimes it's hard to even manage. But you do it anyways because you want to be with that person, despite the 1,831 miles between you and your significant other. And it doesn't get easier, but you learn to somehow deal with it because why wouldn't you?
The only way to succeed in a long distance relationship is to have TRUST. You have to be able to trust one another in order for a relationship to work, long distance or not. Trust is such a huge factor in a relationship and friendship. You have to learn to trust that your boyfriend/girlfriend won't cheat, or lie to you, and I know that can be tough. It's even more difficult when your schedules for school and work are not the same whatsoever. What I have learned is that without trust, you can have no relationship because that requires LOYALTY.
Loyalty...oh this is my favorite thing to talk about. Loyalty is especially important in a relationship, of any kind. I was taught loyalty from such a young age by my father. I was always told, "Loyalty is more important than love. You can be loyal to someone and not love them." Loyalty is the most important part of being in a relationship because being loyal requires you to be faithful to your partner. If you can't stay true to your partner, then why are you putting them through this long distance relationship?
Loyalty is so significant to me that I have the word in Chinese, tattooed on my back.
The last "tip" I can give is to try to understand where they are in their current endeavors. If they are in school, try to help take the stress away from exams. That can be done by creating a night where you two decide to talk and just tell each other about your week or what's bothering you. Help one another to the best of your ability. They want to succeed just as much as you want them to succeed. CARE about their busy lifestyle, and ask questions. Be curious. Let them know that you are there for them, because it's not always easy to tell over a cell phone.
Now that I've given you some little keys to a successful long distance relationship... If you haven't been in one, this is what it is like for me and my boyfriend, Ryan.
Ryan and I have known each other for a good five years. We went to middle school together, and up until I moved after my sophomore year of high school, we also went to the same high school. Unfortunately, he seemed to always have a girlfriend, and I was in a relationship up until I moved to Florida. We had also gotten into a huge fight as I was leaving for Florida over his ex-girlfriend who happened to be my best friend (at the time). Luckily, Ryan and I put the past behind us and we started to talk again, but all throughout high school, he either had a girlfriend and I had my first long distance relationship with someone else who has gone to my old high school.
As time passed, Ryan and I kept in touch, we sometimes saw each other when I would come home to Virginia, but it wasn't enough, for me. Once high school finished, we really started to talk again and during that time, I had moved to New York City to pursue my dream, and he was moving to Texas to go to his parent's alma mater, Texas Tech University. The summer continued, and we were still talking, but it turned into something serious around August. In my head, I knew I wanted to be with him, but the one thing that was holding me back was the distance between us.
Fast forward to October... We started to talk to each other about our feelings, which was odd, considering that we don't like to talk about our feelings that much. One day he became sentimental and caring. I'm not saying that's unusual for him or myself, but it was out of the blue. That happened to be the day we decided to take on a long distance relationship.
Since then, it hasn't been easy since I'm studying Musical Theater, and he's studying Psychology, but we make it work. We talk as much as we can, and we both respect that I have two jobs, a 35 to 45 hour school week, and everything else I can try to squeeze into my tight schedule. Ryan tries to understand but knows next to nothing about Musical Theatre, which is 100 percent OK. It's the fact that he tries to understand is what counts the most. Making this work, has not been simple, but knowing that he and I can be together is the best possible feeling in the world.
If you're thinking about being in a long distance relationship, think about it more than once, and more than twice, because you'll find that there are some pros and but if the cons outweigh the good, then I personally don't recommend it. If you find yourself wanting more from your partner, but the distance is holding you back, book a plane ticket or bus ticket, find a way to get to them and spend some quality time with one another.
