A long distance relationship (LDR) is definitely not for everyone. Being hours, states, or even countries away from your boyfriend or girlfriend is a true test of the love that the two of you share. It takes trust, courage, planning, determination and a whole lot of love. Although we are no longer together, these are the things that I learned through my year long LDR.
Both people need to be willing to travel. I was always the one making the eight hour drive to see him. I was willing to do it because I truly loved him, but sometimes it felt like I was making it easy for him. My schedule did make it easier for me to leave early Friday morning and get home late Monday night. It felt like it was expected that I go to him, which was not a great feeling. If you alternate who is traveling, or even meet half way, this makes it more manageable for both individuals.
Trust is a must. Not being with your significant other every day can mess with your head. Which means it is also playing with your boyfriend or girlfriend's head also. Respond to their messages. Don't post pictures with the same sex of your significant other, unless they know about this person. Don't keep it a secret if you are going out for the night. Basically, don't put yourself in a situation that will make your significant other question your relationship.
Get creative with your communication. This is essential. Texting back and forth everyday will make your conversations turn into the same monotonous thing. With all of the technology that we have right now, you guys should be utilizing it. Texting, FaceTime, Skype, Snapchat, etc. Change it up. Heck! You could even send handwritten letters via snail mail. Don't you just love the feeling of receiving a handwritten note for someone you love.
Countdowns are your best friend. I am a firm believer in countdowns. It seems to make the time pass faster. It also gives you something to look forward to. Changing the dry erase board, pulling off a post it, or checking your app. At the beginning it may be sad when there are 20, 30 or however many days until you get to see them again. The level of excitement when the countdown reaches single digits makes it all worth it.
It takes two to tango. Both people need to be willing to put in the time and energy to be in a long distance relationship. An LDR is definitely not for everyone. It's hard to think that your significant other has their own life so far away. Sometimes it feels like it would just be easier to give up. It's devastating when the visit you were looking forward to has to be rescheduled. It's not fun when you only get to see each other once a month or so.
Your relationship may get pretty serious pretty fast. I know my LDR got serious pretty fast. We saw a long future together and we weren't afraid to talk about marriage, children and overall a life together. He got me a promise ring and he told me how he wanted me and only me. I think with a LDR you have to think seriously about the future, or is all of the time, energy, pain and money even worth it?
Understand that there will be a day when distance isn't a factor. If you both want it to work, the distance will eventually come to and end. Whenever it was the last day of a visit, we always talked about how one day the "see you later" would just be until when we both got home from work. It wasn't "see you in a few weeks". If you can get through time where your miles apart, there's nothing you can't get through.
Although your family and friends may not understand how you can make a LDR work, it can happen. Both of you need to be determined, trustworthy and open about your feelings. There are plenty of relationships that turn into marriages even though the two involved were separated by miles, state lines or country boarders.
