A Timeline Of College Spring Break, As Told By Fat Amy

A Timeline Of College Spring Break, As Told By Fat Amy

And remember: what happens at break, stays at break.
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Spring break. Undoubtedly the most anticipated event of the spring semester for college students nationally. This wild, reckless, and spontaneous time is more than just a week off of school. It has become its own culture, founded on the key motto: #YOLO. It is a time of genuine happiness, characterized by a stress-free lifestyle.

Given all of these factors, who better to accurately portray this memorable adventure than Rebel Wilson? Without further ado, I present to you a realistic representation of spring break, as told by Fat Amy herself.

1. The Week Before

So, you planned on eating nothing but salads, fruits, and working out at least once a day. You even figured out what group fitness classes you were going to attend in the gym! But just as you were on your way to Zumba, you got one-word text from your best friend—"Chipotle?" Friends don't let friends eat alone, and a burrito bowl has lettuce in it, so you're not really breaking your diet... And everyone knows you can't do cardio right after you eat! Oh well, next time.

2. The Night Before

So much to do, so little time! Naturally, you waited until the last minute to pack and sort out the details. This results in you going to bed around 3 a.m., but you're too excited to even sleep! That is, until about an hour before your alarm goes off. You hit snooze about three times in your sleep until you realize it's time. Good thing, too, because everyone else is ready. You make it down just in time to head out.

3. The Ride There

Snacks? Check. Caffeine? Check. Music (including '90s throwbacks)? Check. You are officially road trip ready and on the move toward your epic adventure of a lifetime. Just make sure the driver doesn't get too hype when old school Britney starts to play and stays focused on the road!

4. Arrival

IT'S HAPPENING. HOLY @#$*%. Against all odds, you and the squad have made it to your official SB2K16 destination. You might've lost your voices singing on the car ride there, but that's nothing a shot of liquor can't fix. You've magically transformed your outfits from road trip bums to spring break hotties, and you are ready to RAGE.

5. First Night Out

You head to the grocery store to grab essentials (a.k.a. mixers and frozen pizza) and get ready for your first night out. A couple people you ran into told you all about the "cool, hip club" across the beach, and without further ado, you guys are ready to go. At this point, your condo looks like a bomb exploded, causing the contents of your suitcases to scatter across the room. Just a typical side effect of getting ready with your friends. You hit the club and walk in feeling like a million bucks. It's spring break, baby.

6. Party like there's no tomorrow

You try to pace yourself but there's just so much to celebrate! Before you know it, your drink is gone (again). Good thing you have a tab open!

7. Questionable Decisions

The dude you have been eyeing all night finally walks over to you and starts to chat. But then he tries to pull a move, and you're like, "No! What kind of girl do you think I am!?" But shoot him a wink that really means "try again later."

8. Hangry and Hung Over

You wake up the next morning with a searing pain in both your head and stomach. You must have gotten injured last night! Then you realize the throbbing pain isn't a gunshot would, but a different (tequila) shot wound instead. And your stomach hurts because the only sustenance you've had in the last 14 hours has been of the liquid kind. Time for mimosas and pancakes at the diner across the street!

9. Chillin', Maxin', Relaxin' All Cool

The rest of the day is spent hanging out with friends on the beach, maybe playing beach volleyball or going on waterslides. The possibilities are endless! So this is what bliss feels like..

10. Do It All Again

Get dressed...

Get pumped....

Go wild! Spring break with your best friends really will be some of the best days of your life, so enjoy each and every second, because...

11. It will be over before you know it

As much as you never want these days to end, that last day is going to roll around eventually.

And honestly, you liver is probably screaming at you for a break. This is what I imagine it looks like:



12. Relive the memories on the car ride home

Spring break is crazy. You'll probably need the hours on the ride home to decompress and really wrap your heads around what truly happened. You'll also need that time to come to terms with whatever crazy stupid decisions you made and how to break them to the people at home.

13. Realize that, no matter what happened, it could have been worse

So true, Fat Amy. So true.

14. Cherish the memories

And remember: what happens at break, stays at break.

Happy spring breaking!

Cover Image Credit: blogspot.com

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An Honest Review Of ItWorks! From Someone Who Doesn't Sell The Products

No, I'm not looking for you to "join a team" or begin any challenges.
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I'm sure you've seen your friends on Facebook transition from friend to salesman. Whether it be for Scentsy, LipSense, or AdvoCare; multi-level marketing companies are on the rise thanks to social media. ItWorks! remains one of the most prominent.

ItWorks! is a health and wellness company using primarily plant-based ingredients without any artificial sweeteners or coloring. Their "number one seller" is the famous body wraps but the company is mostly weight loss supplements and vitamins. The company has a passion for the natural over the synthetic. Co-founder Mark Pentecost states on the site's Our History page that "you want to know that you're putting the very best things in your body."

Since most reviews of these products come from distributors, who are therefore biased, I have reviewed three of their greatest products and one I believe you should avoid.

1. Greens™ Blend Chocolate

As a vegan, I sometimes have to double check that I'm receiving the proper nutrients. ItWorks! Greens have been saving my life lately. It contains 52 herbs and nutrient-rich superfoods as well as 34 fruits and veggies. It is meant to alkalize, balance, and detoxify.

This is my favorite product! It gives me energy and even fills in for breakfast sometimes. It honestly makes me feel great. Then again... they always said eating all your fruits and veggies would!

ItWorks! gives you those healthy servings in a delicious chocolate flavor (which is bomb with almond milk). Make sure you use a blender bottle or blender. Like many powdered supplements, it can have that grainy aftertaste.

2. Advanced Formula Fat Fighter™

The idea behind this supplement is that it’s "okay to indulge if you have your Fat Fighters." Basically, if you just must have that sweet treat or piece of bread then you can take this pill within an hour to prevent your body from absorbing the carbs and a portion of the fats. If you're anything like me, you eat what you want when you want, so you'll end up taking these pills on the daily.

The main reason I like the Fat Fighters is that they reduce cravings and I normally have such a sweet tooth!

3. ThermoFIGHT™

This product is meant to increase calorie burning, boost the rate of your metabolism, and boost your energy. Like with Greens, I definitely feel energized when I take this supplement. Not in a jittery or wired way, either.

They say "abs start in the kitchen" but I'll try and cheat the system when I can!

4. Ultimate Body Applicator™ and Defining Gel™

This is the ItWorks! claim to fame... and that ASTOUNDS me.

I used to be so skeptical of this company because of the wraps. I tried them three different times and was not impressed each time. The ultimate body applicator and defining gel are meant to tighten and tone the skin to redefine the appearance of your body’s contour. Sure, you'll receive those results... just at an outrageous price. It's an expensive product that requires a lot of re-purchasing in order to receive any drastic results. Not to mention the most drastic results are just reduction of water weight.

They're really just an overpriced skin firming lotion. I suggest finding a nice cream from Target and sitting in the sauna instead.

If your facebook-friend-turned-salesman pushes for you to buy the wraps, just remember that I warned you.

I would like to give an honorary mention to KetoCoffee (probably their second most popular item). Because it is not vegan, I have not given it a try. I have heard amazing things from multiple women, though. Most keto coffee recipes give people the shakes and amp them up too hard. I've heard that ItWorks! has perfected the recipe.

I have used the first three products for a little over three months now. Sometimes I am inconsistent and miss servings. However, I match these products with a vegan diet (mostly whole foods based) and 3-4 days of exercise. I do not have drastic results but I have lost a little over ten pounds and feel great each day. I plan to remain a customer with this company (I have Greens on Autoship!).

I feel so blessed to be a Loyal Customer with ItWorks! because I receive up to 40% off and free shipping after three months. Without this discount, I probably never would have given this company a second thought. I highly recommend going that route because, well...

Cover Image Credit: Savanah Garcia | Instagram

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I'm Chronically Sick And It Made Me Appreciate The Little Moments In Life

My doctor's office became a second home to me, but never gave me the answers I needed.

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People get sick all the time, a cold here, the flu there. It doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary to get sick a few times a year - I wish that was the case for me.

I have always been the kid in class who seemed to get a cold every couple weeks. It never caused an issue in school, I always pushed through.

As I got older I got sicker.

If I look back at the last year and compare the times I was sick to my friends, you would be amazed. One of my friends would get a cold and it would pass in a few days. I would catch the same cold, and it would stay with me for multiple weeks. This happened every time someone around me was sick, it didn't matter that I had had the same virus two weeks prior. My body couldn't shut out illness.

I remember the day I came into the editor's office at the magazine I was working for and everyone froze at the sight of me. I had mono, strep throat, and a sinus infection - all at the same time. I looked like a walking ghost. To make it worse, I had already had mono and strep throat previously that winter.

My doctor's office became a second home to me, but never gave me the answers I needed. Everything was just a little annoying until it got serious.

Halfway through fall semester at Washington State University, I faced the scariest medical moment of my life so far. I started getting stabbing pains in my left side. They escalated over the next couple weeks, but I didn't have the time to get it checked out. School, work, my friends, and my boyfriend at the time kept me busy.

It got to the point I couldn't stand it anymore.

When I finally went into the hospital the doctors were amazed I was still as active as I was. I had developed a massive infection in my left kidney. My doctor ordered a rush CT scan to ensure I didn't have to have surgery. In the meantime, I was on multiple painkillers and medications, bedridden for over a week. The results finally came back and I was in the clear. With that said, I now only have half of my left kidney function and it is unclear if I will gain it back.

I was lucky that I didn't lose my kidney from that infection. With that said, I lost my job, my depression levels rose and I barely passed my classes last semester due to the complications. My sickness had finally caught up with me, and that was the final straw.

Once I recovered from my infection I started seeing an immune specialist. We discovered that my sinuses had been stripped of all needed particles that filter out viruses and that my body was a boundaryless breeding ground for bacteria.

I'm defenseless against getting sick.

To this day we still do not know what is going on, but we are constantly doing testing to try to make my life as easy as it can be medical wise. I will always be sick, but the experiences I have had have only made me appreciate the little moments in life more. While I hate the fact I'm getting sicker, and it makes me struggle with self-love, it is something I'm constantly learning from.

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