A Timeline Of College Spring Break, As Told By Fat Amy
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

A Timeline Of College Spring Break, As Told By Fat Amy

And remember: what happens at break, stays at break.

30
A Timeline Of College Spring Break, As Told By Fat Amy
blogspot.com

Spring break. Undoubtedly the most anticipated event of the spring semester for college students nationally. This wild, reckless, and spontaneous time is more than just a week off of school. It has become its own culture, founded on the key motto: #YOLO. It is a time of genuine happiness, characterized by a stress-free lifestyle.

Given all of these factors, who better to accurately portray this memorable adventure than Rebel Wilson? Without further ado, I present to you a realistic representation of spring break, as told by Fat Amy herself.

1. The Week Before

So, you planned on eating nothing but salads, fruits, and working out at least once a day. You even figured out what group fitness classes you were going to attend in the gym! But just as you were on your way to Zumba, you got one-word text from your best friend—"Chipotle?" Friends don't let friends eat alone, and a burrito bowl has lettuce in it, so you're not really breaking your diet... And everyone knows you can't do cardio right after you eat! Oh well, next time.

2. The Night Before

So much to do, so little time! Naturally, you waited until the last minute to pack and sort out the details. This results in you going to bed around 3 a.m., but you're too excited to even sleep! That is, until about an hour before your alarm goes off. You hit snooze about three times in your sleep until you realize it's time. Good thing, too, because everyone else is ready. You make it down just in time to head out.

3. The Ride There

Snacks? Check. Caffeine? Check. Music (including '90s throwbacks)? Check. You are officially road trip ready and on the move toward your epic adventure of a lifetime. Just make sure the driver doesn't get too hype when old school Britney starts to play and stays focused on the road!

4. Arrival

IT'S HAPPENING. HOLY @#$*%. Against all odds, you and the squad have made it to your official SB2K16 destination. You might've lost your voices singing on the car ride there, but that's nothing a shot of liquor can't fix. You've magically transformed your outfits from road trip bums to spring break hotties, and you are ready to RAGE.

5. First Night Out

You head to the grocery store to grab essentials (a.k.a. mixers and frozen pizza) and get ready for your first night out. A couple people you ran into told you all about the "cool, hip club" across the beach, and without further ado, you guys are ready to go. At this point, your condo looks like a bomb exploded, causing the contents of your suitcases to scatter across the room. Just a typical side effect of getting ready with your friends. You hit the club and walk in feeling like a million bucks. It's spring break, baby.

6. Party like there's no tomorrow

You try to pace yourself but there's just so much to celebrate! Before you know it, your drink is gone (again). Good thing you have a tab open!

7. Questionable Decisions

The dude you have been eyeing all night finally walks over to you and starts to chat. But then he tries to pull a move, and you're like, "No! What kind of girl do you think I am!?" But shoot him a wink that really means "try again later."

8. Hangry and Hung Over

You wake up the next morning with a searing pain in both your head and stomach. You must have gotten injured last night! Then you realize the throbbing pain isn't a gunshot would, but a different (tequila) shot wound instead. And your stomach hurts because the only sustenance you've had in the last 14 hours has been of the liquid kind. Time for mimosas and pancakes at the diner across the street!

9. Chillin', Maxin', Relaxin' All Cool

The rest of the day is spent hanging out with friends on the beach, maybe playing beach volleyball or going on waterslides. The possibilities are endless! So this is what bliss feels like..

10. Do It All Again

Get dressed...

Get pumped....

Go wild! Spring break with your best friends really will be some of the best days of your life, so enjoy each and every second, because...

11. It will be over before you know it

As much as you never want these days to end, that last day is going to roll around eventually.

And honestly, you liver is probably screaming at you for a break. This is what I imagine it looks like:


12. Relive the memories on the car ride home

Spring break is crazy. You'll probably need the hours on the ride home to decompress and really wrap your heads around what truly happened. You'll also need that time to come to terms with whatever crazy stupid decisions you made and how to break them to the people at home.

13. Realize that, no matter what happened, it could have been worse

So true, Fat Amy. So true.

14. Cherish the memories

And remember: what happens at break, stays at break.

Happy spring breaking!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55777
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35958
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957951
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

186882
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments