I had planned to make my first post another cliché, gif filled listicle about finals (I still may make one) but for now I decided to change things up a bit and talk about thankfulness instead. I know the timing seems strange, many of us are just praying to anything we can to make it through finals week uninjured, but sometimes these stressful times are just the ones during which positive reflection is important.

That being said, it's funny to me how sometimes the smallest things can trigger a revelation. For example, while out to see a cheesy movie with an old friend one recent Tuesday night I found myself experiencing a moment of clarity.

I did not share this with anyone at the time, but as we rolled out of the plush reclining seats of the theater and trudged into the soul-sucking cold air past midnight, I could not help but smile.

I slid into my car's freezing leather seats and turned the heater on full-blast as I drove away. For the first time in what feels like forever I did not bother with the radio. I was far too busy with my thoughts.

I cannot say for sure whether or not the movie triggered my change in perspective although it did have some impact. All I know is that when I walked out of that theater, I found myself focused on how lucky I was rather than focused on the many worries which seem to be constantly floating around my head.

I have not been looking at my life as a whole lately. It's kind of like walking through a park while staring at your feet. You might begin to notice the cracked and uneven pavement, focusing solely on stepping carefully so that you do not trip. You begin to think that the park must be pretty ugly judging by the unkempt walkways until, one day, you decide to pick up your head and look around. And you realize that the park is breathtaking.

That is a taste of what this realization felt like.

I began to think about all the things I have to be thankful for. I thought about myself. I can be the type of person who is always beating herself up over everything she does wrong. Every minuscule criticism living proof that I am not good enough, that I do not do things well enough. I see all of my imperfections and focus on them, obsess over them. But when I step back and look in the mirror, I really don't look half bad.

I mean that literally and metaphorically, by the way. I am similar to most people in that I am definitely not always happy with the way I look. Aside from that, I also overlook my less tangible positive traits. I think about my clumsiness and my tendency to be extremely awkward. I think about my depression and anxiety, desperately wishing I could just be more happy or that I could stop fidgeting around so much. I wish I could just calm down. In fact, sometimes I even wish I was someone else.

In all honesty though, I don't want to be anyone else. I want to be me. In all of my anxious, awkward, clumsy glory. If I look at myself objectively, I am so proud. I am proud that I have overcome many obstacles. I am putting myself through school, doing the things I love to do, learning, and working to better myself every day. Plus, I have an amazing job and a wonderful boyfriend. I am glad to live in a nice house with roommates I get along with, to have a working vehicle (knock on wood), to have my health (*knock*), and to have a few good friends.

It is also important to think about the little things. The way a full moon lights the world up in a soft blue hue. The way the sky looks without a moon in the darkest night when you can see the billions of stars laid out upon the great tapestry of space. The warm cozy feeling that creeps into your bones when you finally crawl into bed after a long day and snuggle into the blankets. The taste of your favorite breakfast food, or the feeling of accomplishment when you finish your assignments and get to relax.

Thinking about all of these things can make a person remember that life is worth it. In fact, it's more than worth it. Life is beautiful if you just take a moment to step back and breathe it all in. Times will get hard and it may be difficult to see past the obstacles in front of you. But if we can learn to be thankful for what we have, even the little things, I know that we can all get through it.

So this week, while you may be pulling out your hair from the stress, try not to forget that this will pass. You will get through it.

Thank you to the people in my family who will always support and love me, the friends who are still by my side. To the people who taught me valuable life lessons and the teachers who opened my eyes. To those who left or showed me hardship for teaching me the tough lessons of life. And a big thank you to the fantastic man I get to call my boyfriend, for everything.