Old handwritten notes and photographs line the bottom drawer of my dresser. They are signed with you name and I love you. You can see where you folded the paper several times to make sure that it was folded perfectly. You knew that it bothered me if the paper wasn't folded almost perfectly.
An old, broken chain to a necklace sits in a yellow box atop my dresser. The colors of the charm merged together, forming a sunset design. The charm glistens in the sun, although it rarely leaves the box. You knew I rarely wore necklaces, but I loved the charms. A beautiful opal ring and a cross bracelet lie in a small, green box still packed away from moving back home. I fell in love with the ring while you were away, and you somehow remembered it. You gave me the bracelet for Christmas a few years ago.
Four, rather cuddly stuffed animals lie in a box covered in a collection of scarfs. They each hold a memory near and dear to my heart. I held them close when I missed you. If you look close enough, you can see the stains from my tears on nights when the miles seemed to be too much.
In a box, tucked in a bigger box next to my bible, is a stack of letters from our time apart. Each filled with hope and the joy of hearing from me. The thought of seeing me soon and thought of my smile as I read each letter. Now, each letter has a few stains from my tears. I cried a lot reading them.
I know that I shouldn't, but there are nights when I scroll through our pictures. I still have most of them in my camera roll. I look at them with a smile, remembering when each one was taken. Seeing how we grew up and thinking about how different we are now.
I never thought that anything would change. I thought that one day, you would be my one. I thought that we had everything figured out. I thought that lots of things would be different. I never thought that I wouldn't have to bite my tongue when we get off of the phone. I never thought that I would be broken by distance, and by that situation we were put in.
I had no idea that we would part as friends and that after one of the scariest moments in my life, I'd call you. I didn't know that you would be the only one to calm me down. Who would have thought that you would have been the voice of reason it took to get thought to me, when I stayed out too late in weeks previous to my wreck?
It seems that fate has a funny way of bringing us together. I had no idea that you would be someone I wanted to make proud. It seemed impossible to me a year ago, that we would be in this unique relationship we somehow make work. There are times when my heart just hurts and you seem to be the only one to reach me. There is part of me that can't completely believe what is going on. It's a good ten percent of my heart that doesn't want to believe reality. Time changes things and it heals things. It has been healing me and slowly showing me what part I was meant to play in your life. I hope that time is doing the same for you.
