Dear readers,
Because you are reading this it is safe to assume that you are dealing with a break up, in the midst of trying to prevent a break up, or you're just interested in the subject. It's pretty touchy. You meet a person, date them, deem them worthy of status, and then somewhere down the line things go left and now you're left thinking "what is it that I could've done differently"? Why is it that you just couldn't get things right? Of course, neither of these questions will actually help your healing process, but they can however teach you about yourself and the necessary steps of prevention that can stop this from becoming a pattern. Trust and believe, you don't want to be that person that's always in their feelings and heartbroken.
STEP 1: ACKNOWLEDGE THE REASON IT ENDED
Was it infidelity? Incompatibility? Yes, you may love and miss that person. Or, maybe you are on the opposite sides of the spectrum and completely loathe him/her ...after all they broke your heart. These emotions are all totally normal to feel. And, the more you put in your mind that it IS over and why it IS over the least foreign it will sound. It becomes a reality.
STEP 2: RID YOURSELF OF MEMORIES
Nostalgia is a bitch. It's time to make some space in your life ...So grab your phone, start deleting those pictures where you look happy and dandy. Avoid scrolling through them and getting lost in the moment, simply check the boxes and delete them all at once. Also, it's time to un-friend them on social media; you don't need the reminder of "seeing them live their life being happy without you." It'll just cause an array of emotions. Next is deleting their number (although you know it by heart).It also seems to help break the habit of you looking forward to that name popping up in your call log. And don't think you're slick by deleting the contact but not the message thread....delete it!! No need to go back and reread old messages of when everything was everything ...you acknowledged it ending...Now do yourself a favor ...just delete the thread dammit.
STEP 3: HEALING PROCESS
It is 100% okay to cry if you want to cry. You invested your time, emotions, and became vulnerable. You probably planned a future with him/her and now you have to revamp your whole life. It's scary, and overwhelming, and takes some getting used to. Go out and buy yourself that big box of ice cream, put on The Notebook, and ball your eyes out. This is your chance to get it all out! You now have the chance to redefine yourself while becoming comfortable in the fact that you may be alone for a while. So use this time to work on yourself...mentally, physically, and spiritually. Go to the gym, do yoga, meditate, throw yourself into a project of some sort to refocus. You got this! You were single once upon a time and the world is not ending.
STEP 4: BE A BETTER YOU
There is beauty in the struggle and with every relationship comes a lesson. What did you take from this life experience? Did you find out your flaws? I'm sure you weren't perfect yourself, and have some major characteristics to work on before you rush back into the dating pool again. Take the time to make yourself whole. Know yourself, know what makes you tick, know what drives you. The more accurate you are, the higher the chance of the success rate in your next relationship.
But above all, and most importantly, remember that time heals all.
