I sat as two of my friends talk about the last time their boyfriends brought them flowers and how long ago it was.
“The last person to buy me flowers was me.” I reply.
They both looked at me. “Why did you buy yourself flowers?” My friend asked.
“Because I love myself and I love flowers, so I bought myself flowers.”
After a moment pause my friend finally says, “can’t argue with that."
This conversation has stuck with me for weeks. Why did they ask me why I bought myself flowers? Why isn't it obvious that we should love ourselves? I don't want to wait for a partner to buy me flowers because I'm not going to just settle on some guy so that way he can buy me flowers and I am definitely not going to wait until I'm with someone to get flowers. Especially considering I don't know if I'll find someone or not, and I don't care either way. Because I am happy. These concepts go hand in hand.
We have all of this stuff everywhere about how to be happy and single, as if we're all some tragedy. Then there's the articles about how to find the one, because clearly the only reason a woman could be single is because she hasn't found the one she has been desperately searching for and will probably end up settling on a guy whom she only half wants to be with but is so afraid she won't get married that it's better than nothing. Or someone declaring they are going to be single forever because it is "so fun!" Ugh, please. I'm glad you're having a good time and all but do you really have to attach your relationship status at the end? Who cares! There’s also articles about how to keep your girlfriend happy with flower suggestions. There’s articles about how to know if your boyfriend loves you that talk about being bought flowers.But what these articles miss is that there are plenty of happy couples and plenty of people happy alone, is it because of our relationship status or is it because we really love ourselves and have created a life that reflects that? If you're answer is because of your relationship status then just know, that's not true happiness, that's attaching your worth to an another being.
Sure, it's great to have a fun single-girls night-out and it's awesome that you love your boyfriend and he makes you happy but please don't tell me you're happiness is solely based upon that status.
Buy yourself the flowers, whether you're in a relationship or not, because you deserve them and they will add to your joy. And while you're at it, maybe buy your friends, or a stranger, some flowers too because they also deserve a reminder that they are loved for no other reason than being. You don’t need a reason to be kind to others or yourself. In a time where society glorifies harshness towards themselves and numbness towards others, I’m arguing against this. Create love and spread love. Buy yourself the freaking flowers!
