I was ready to go to college when my last semester of high school started. I was from a small town and our school was on the top of a hill in a cow pasture. I couldn’t wait to start this next chapter of my life. But I wasn’t ready for the reality of it all.

This was going to be the hardest and most emotional year of my life.

We all know how the cycle goes: The sleepless nights, constant doses of caffeine, daily study hours. Meeting new people every day and finding your forever friends. Meeting that cute guy in line at Starbucks or maybe even at a frat party on Greek Row.

The first month wasn’t as bad. I was only an hour from home, I had already made friends on campus, I had joined a sorority and gained my second family. I was in a joyful state of mind but then reality hit. The classes got harder as the semester progressed. I got a C on the first of three tests in the class. The hours of studying I went through and the end results that are my grade didn’t add up. And unfortunately, the drama in college are bigger and more complicated. You would think in college, people would stop bullying. But that’s wrong. The little snickers and side comments in lecture nearly set me off.

And you’re probably asking, “Why didn’t you go to your sisters?” From an honest point of view, there are over 90 different girls and I only remember about half their names. I started out being friends with maybe three or five of them and had my own friend group. Whenever I would be out with my friends, I was always “The Duff” of the group and it sucked. And we didn’t really know each other that well yet so we didn’t know what buttons not to push. I hated that I came to a new school for a fresh start only for it to be a replay of high school.

That’s when I started going through depression again. I was at a point where I felt like a failure. I thought I couldn’t do anything right. I started to believe the things people would say about me. I don’t what possessed me to do it but I posted a video on my Facebook page and told the world what I have gone through and how I felt. I was always the girl who smiled and didn’t care what people said. But I couldn’t be silent anymore. Too many of us don’t say what we think or feel because we feel like there are people with worse problems and that we should suck it up. We say that we’re fine but we’re not okay. I thought I could do some good for someone who was hiding in the corners. I wanted to be a voice for someone.

The next day, I got text messages and calls from people in my life telling me how brave and inspiring I was for putting myself out there. I got an outpour of love from my sisters, some of them having gone through the same thing. One that really got to me was a message from my friend back home. She mentioned a scripture from the bible. “Instead, your beauty comes from inside you. It is the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Beauty like that doesn’t fade away. God places great value on it” (1 Peter 3:4).

I realized that my relationship with God had been strained since I had gotten to college. Finding a church home was challenging. There were places who are “Jesus pushers” and the ones who are only about social hangouts than talking about Jesus. I was just thankful and lucky to find a home in Campus Outreach on my campus. Me voicing out brought me and my sisters closer together and made us want to connect more than what can be said through pictures of Instagram.

Sure, the first semester was rough, but it’s the first year. You’re starting to get the hang of things and it motivates you to do better. I’m going to be hundred percent honest with this. You’re going to go through a stage in life, the middle of becoming an adult (graduation) and when you hit the mid-life crisis (age 30). You figure out who you are, what you’re good at, and what really matters to you. You’re going to meet some people and lose some along the way. There’s going to be so many obstacles thrown at you for you to overcome. The next four years will be the best but only if you chose to make it your best.